My friend lives in the house of her boyfriend's parents. There are many people living there: his parents, him and my friend, his brother with wife and a guy, who is not related to them but just renting a room, since it's a big house.
From what she told me, the relationships between all of them are not healthy most of the time. Her boyfriend is often depressed. And I don't think it's healthy in general to live with so many people in the same house.
My friend wanted to move out from there long time ago. There were times when she was actively looking for a new place and she even found it, but her boyfriend would always pull back.
So now, when she came home from vacation, she learnt that the guy - a roommate, tried to suicide. They saved him, he was in coma, but alive and still in the hospital.
She told me his story, that he had a tough relationship with his father and that in the house where they all live, they didn't really like him, since he was often depressed. People wouldn't even talk to him sometimes! I said, well, why didn't he move out from a miserable place like that?! She said because his job didn't pay well, and he didn't have the means to. On one occasion he was watching someone's apartment when they were out of town and he came back as a different person, happier and not depressed.
But over time, depression came back and then he tried.
This made me realize, that it is essential to be around people, that like you.
This also made me realize, that people that actually truly like me, are very few. Honestly I can't even think of anyone now, who would just like me for me and not for what they can get from me.
How do we find people that like us? How do we find those, who enjoys our company, care for us and are there for us?
I also learnt recently, that it happens, when we love ourselves. I heard that so many times, that it's pathetic. I have to love myself first for anyone else to love me.
What do I need to do to love myself? Do I need to have a better job, so I can respect myself? Should I lose weight and finally get to my goal weight and be comfortable in my body? Should I dress nicer, so I feel confident when I leave the house? Should I sleep more so I don't feel tired and unhappy? Should I put small goals ahead of me and reach them consistently to build my confidence this way?
Yes to all of the above!
But first, I need to limit the amount of time spent with those, that don't like me. It is better, I be alone, one on one with myself, thinking positively and doing things that I like, building myself, that I be in the company of people who tolerates me, and have no respect for me.