My BEST friend.... i cant handle this anymore.........
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My BEST friend.... i cant handle this anymore.........

This is a discussion on My BEST friend.... i cant handle this anymore......... within the Lost to Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; it was almost a year ago..... i feel worse everyday... i loved him... i needed him... and i and take ...

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Old 07-07-06, 12:10 AM   #1
 
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Default My BEST friend.... i cant handle this anymore.........

it was almost a year ago..... i feel worse everyday... i loved him... i needed him... and i and take not being able to see him anymore....

<3 Nicole

PS... i'll post how he.... left later
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Old 07-07-06, 12:26 AM   #2
 
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he was 14... he always seemed so happy.. but he'd been planning it... he went to the shooting range and shot himself along the right jaw line angle up... i feel like i should have seen something..........i'm so stupid i hate myself....
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Old 07-07-06, 12:33 AM   #3
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As much as we may wish we could have done something to prevent the suicide of somebody we love, we have to remember that it is not our fault. You shouldn't feel stupid or be upset with yourself. From what you've shared so far, it sounds like you truly cared about this person. I'm sure that the last thing they would want is for you to torture yourself and wish you had done something differently. The fact that you are here talking about it shows that you care, and I'm sure that this person knew it.
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Old 07-07-06, 01:11 AM   #4
 
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redangel

i know exactly how you feel. i know your feelings of guilt and remorse, that you should have seen something and you should have known. if it could be that simple, but it's not.

you are beating yourself up and that is going to hurt you in the longrun. it will slowly eat away at you until you are empty inside. your friend would not want that for you. whatever decisions led him to his decision are beyond our understanding. that is the unanswered question that will remain, but hopefully as time passes, it will fade a bit.

try remembering the good times and the fun. replace the focus on his death with a focus on the good stuff. i know it is hard, but once you get to that point, it is much easier to bear.

my son committed suicide. i know your pain and your journey. i beat myself up for so long, with "why didn't he tell me.." and "why didn't he call me?" and "what did i do as a mother to cause this" and so on and so on. there are no answers, just acceptance. i started down the path that you are presently on, and sweetie, it just doesn't work.

be kind to yourself. it wasn't your fault. it was NOT your fault. there was nothing that you could do - truly.

let me know how you are doing. my heart aches for you.

irishred
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Old 07-07-06, 09:07 AM   #5
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I'm sorry to hear about your friend.
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Old 07-07-06, 03:33 PM   #6
 
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its so hard...its like i'm three seperate people...all in one body... whne i'm with my family and friends.. i allways seem so happy..... when i'm alone i feel empty.... i hate my self.... but then there's this guy(C*****), i met him at the begining of this year.... when i'm with him i'm this happy, confident, held together...flirty girl who just wants to be loved.....J***(my dearly departed friend)... I had a huge crush on J***.... then i went through this "I hate guys eveyone should just leave me alone" phase... then I became really good friends with C*****... who is completly overprotective of me... and its weird cuz i love it.... this girl called me some... interesting things and he asked if i wanted her thrown down stairs (he wouldnt actually do it..) but it was hilarious..we arent dating... but i think we should.... he's te only reason i haven't joined J***...right now he's on vacation....its killing me everything is building up like a sea of troubles with out him... i'm drowning...buit at the same time i think i can hold on and tread water till he comes back

<3 Nicole
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Old 07-07-06, 05:39 PM   #7
 
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hey, it'll be okay. It gets easier but it will never fade away the memories... people who commit suicide don't always show it before it happens. There's no way you could have known and if you did I'm sure you would have done the best you could... my friend Kristina commited suicide 7 months ago in december and she was only 15, 23 days away from her 16th birthday and she was the most perfect beautiful human being I've ever met. All you can do is be the best friend that you can, and don't be mean to others because they're fighting a battle you know nothing about. I'm sorry for your loss and just know that I understand most of how you feel.
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Old 07-17-06, 06:34 PM   #8
 
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every day just gets a litter harder.... not easier.... everyone always told me its got easier..... but they didnt understand
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Old 07-18-06, 07:58 AM   #9
 
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it doesn't get easier, you just have to get stronger and more accepting that he's gone. then things in life will start to feel a little better.
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