Originally Posted by Asha Celeste
I'm not sure what I feel right now. I guess I'm getting used to appearing like a man to certain people, but at the same time it doesn't feel as good as being a woman. Could anyone possibly help with this subject? Someone who is or has gone through this
Hi Asha. I haven't been through this myself but I do have some very close friends who have, including two ex-lovers who were, or are now, MTF transgendered and another who is non-binary.
It's okay to be unsure what you feel! A lot of people take many years to explore and work out their feelings about various emotional issues (not usually gender, but often family/relationship issues). And it's especially hard when your feelings aren't what society is quite forcefully telling you that they should be. Take your time, just be mindful of how you are feeling at any given time.
It's also okay not to fit into the traditional gender binary - whatever society says! Many countries are now routinely allowing people to change their legal sex, but most countries still apparently feel very strongly that everyone should fit exactly into one of the two traditional boxes, Male or Female. But some people feel they just don't fit that system. It may be that you are "fundamentally" female, if that feels better as you say. But you can also be non-binary
- neither exactly male or exactly female, but some mix of male, female, and possibly neither. If you feel you want to be male in some contexts and female in others, perhaps this could be you?
It's also okay not to be just one gender throughout life - again, regardless of what society currently says. Gender transitioning is supposed to be permanent for legal purposes but the truth is that gender can change over your lifetime, just like hair colour or sexuality can (I know plenty of people who have been straight at one time in their life but gay at another time - luckily we are not legally required to register our sexuality, like we are supposed to with our gender). The word for people who feel their gender changes over time is genderfluid
, meaning fluid over time. Again, the fluidity could mean going between male and female, but it could be more complex, going between some mix of male, female and non-binary gender.
I don't know if these issues are of interest to you but I thought I'd mention them since nobody else has mentioned the possibility of being non-binary or genderfluid. Hopefully one day, the law will be less rigid about forcing us all into roles of being "male" or "female" for no particular reason. Things are already moving in the right direction.
The best advice I've found is, concentrate on being the best you
that you can be. Only you can know exactly what that is, and don't worry if it takes a while to home in on it.