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I am 13 and coming out for the first time.

This is a discussion on I am 13 and coming out for the first time. within the LGBT forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Late into the thread, congrats on coming out! That is wonderful! It is great to be confident enough in yourself ...

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Old 01-13-09, 08:32 PM   #31
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Late into the thread, congrats on coming out! That is wonderful! It is great to be confident enough in yourself to let others know it too! :) It took me until 20 to come out as bi.

This might be bad advice, but how about just ignoring that she likes you. Just don't ask her out or acknowledge the romantic feelings. Don't let other people pressure you into an answer as to what you are going to do, if they ask, tell them it's your business and you're more than capable of handling it yourself. If she asks you out, or brings up romantic questions, tell her that you aren't ready to date yet (or at the moment). She should be able to understand that. Buys you time until you guys get older and people get a little more mature (13 was the WORST age for me, that's why I say that).
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Old 01-20-09, 07:41 PM   #32
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Instead of saying, "I'm not interested", try saying, "I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment". It'll come across a lot less harsh.
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Old 01-20-09, 09:04 PM   #33
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That's awesome you're certain of it. That's such a relieving feeling, when you're certain of your sexuality. (Wish I were. *shrugs*) I know what you mean about the homophobic attitudes; that's why I refuse to talk to anyone about it. Not many people would understand.

Anyway, I digress. Again, that's very awesome. *hugs* I'm thrilled for you to be coming out. :)
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Old 01-25-09, 04:29 PM   #34
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Thx for the replies every1. Well i was just getting paranoid,as usual, the girl J and I have been talking again, everything is fine between us. We had a sort of friendly argument lol. I said she was becoming more and more moany and she said i was becoming more and more like my twin brother whom neither of us like. My brother has been annoying me a lot the other day he started to choke me cuz i was sittin on 1 half of he sofa(he cud just hav sat on the other half) but i gt myself out of it. He just makes me so angry. I feel more and more like i cud tell J i am gay each day. Ppl are always makin fun of me cuz i hang out with her and other girls. Oh and ever since coming out on TTL any1 who ever uses gay as an insult makes me furious. I dont show it but its there. Anyway thx agen for the comments.
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Old 01-25-09, 05:12 PM   #35
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I know what you mean, Anonymous. Anyone that uses gay to as an insult makes me furious, too. I don't usually show it, but when I do, I tend to say something along the lines of: "Wow. I didn't know [homework] had a sexual orientation. Thank you for clearing that up with me!" Or people saying, "You're so gay" pisses me off, too. I'm so sarcastic, it's horrible.
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Old 01-26-09, 05:59 AM   #36
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Anon, I'm sorry you experienced that.. I get angry and sad too, when I hear people using being gay as an insult. I'm glad you can write about how it makes you feel here. I'm sure in time you will be able to express it to the people around you too. I'm really proud of you, Anon. Keep fighting. You will get through this. Be patient with yourself. And be just who you are. You're wonderful.
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Old 01-30-09, 06:57 AM   #37
 
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Hello, Anon. I'm a 'gay' girl (I really hate the term) who has had a little trouble with coming out. I'm fourteen, and I'm around a lot of very narrow-minded people. I came out as soon as I discovered my sexuality, and although I lost several friends in doing so, I discovered which of my friends love me for who I really am. Some of the friends who snapped with me when I came out have since reconsidered their thoughts, which really is great. If you do come out to everyone, you will find out very quickly who are real friends and who aren't. It can be hurtful, but I have found it to be great in the long run.

Good luck.

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Old 01-30-09, 05:33 PM   #38
 
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Ya know what. Who cares that matter? Hell, most people make comments because YOU make THEM insecure. I knew this gay guy once. Every time someone would mock him he'd flaunt it as flamboyantly as he could. Hand movements, being loud and obnoxious. But it was quite hilarious and broke the ice. These days it is becoming much more accepted in society. No one gets to pick who they are attracted to, it just happens. If they can't accept you as a friend because of who you like then you really need some new friends. Friends don't judge each other based on preference... Sepia is my favorite color. I never sat down with a color spectrum and searched through them. I just find it happy and enjoyable. Not my fault. And I don't expect a friend to dislike me just because I didn't choose pink, blue, or red. Just come out and if anyone doesn't like it, then let them leave. There are many groups out there for people like you. That gay friend of mine is now married and living the gay pride dream in a big city surrounded by people who don't care about anything other than if they are a good person.
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Well i want to start by saying a big thx to silent cry as u helped me the most to get thru my depression. Now, i am gay, it feels a relief to say it. I am going thru a lot of problems right now due to this. Most of which r related to the fact that i hav been hanging out with girls a lot more often. Also i hav been having a lot of comments aimed at me Bcoz of how i hav only been with a girl once when i was 10. This was wen i was not aware of my sexuality. And the fact i havent kissed a girl or abything due to this. Sometimes wen i get really angry at these comments i just want to scream, "im gay alright!" Bcoz thats the reason 4 it. But i wont come out to any1 Bcoz of the homophobic attitudes so many ppl i know hav. If i was to come out to any1, it wud be this gurl i kno cuz she even asked me once but i culdnt tell if she was serious or not and i didnt hav the curage. I still dont but the more i think bout it the more i think she was being serious. She asked me at lunch wen she another girl i amfriends with and i had came in early to class to get a hedstart on the work. Anyway i just need some words of advice and to kno that ppl care i guess.
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Old 01-30-09, 06:06 PM   #39
 
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Congrats - just saw this - I'm glad its working out ok so far.Please be careful to weigh your pros and cons and be happy :D

I've had a lot of issues with people and its affected me in big ways as far as my long term depressions development, it may be a disorder. But regardless i'm very cautious. Ppl change, make sure this is not something that will cause you more harm in the future if you come out too soon.

In all honesty, i'd wait until everyone was active...till then its not really a big difference, you may as well be friends with people and enjoy yourself without the stigma. I see the appeal, not that I've faced anything like it, but just that I've been an insatiable 'foot-in-mouth' digger, too opinionated (as you see, sorry) and get burnt. And most of those burn scars I could have saved myself cause in hindsight it was not worth it. If your friendship is good right now, I'm not sure it would help me (not you, I can't speak for that, and again sorry for presuming if you're bothered) get it off my chest but the backlash of my depressed guilt would hurt me ... i'm not sure if you have those types of problems....but be careful and take care of yourself first.

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Old 01-30-09, 06:09 PM   #40
 
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I think it's great and you should be so so proud of yourself!
I think you know what your feeling and preferences are. I would support any child of mine or anyone for that matter who is Gay. I don't see a thing wrong with it, I have fought for equal rights on it and it's so hard for people to come out so this is a big step and a great one.
I wont sit here and say it will be an easy road, but I think more and more people feel the way I feel and are realizing this is what it is.
Boy, girl) boy, boy) girl girl,) doesn't matter. Live your life and be proud of you!!!
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