Confused effeminate male. Help requested.
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Confused effeminate male. Help requested.

This is a discussion on Confused effeminate male. Help requested. within the LGBT forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Recently (about the time I turned 17) I've become very..."aware" of men and I have a gf and have had ...

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Old 04-05-15, 02:04 AM   #1
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Smile Confused effeminate male. Help requested.

Recently (about the time I turned 17) I've become very..."aware" of men and I have a gf and have had a bf before in the past but it just feels different. I also have realized subconsciously I copy the women's posture around me(crossed legs. Etc)
I also have become very uncomfortable in men's clothes. I also have desires to go shopping and wear makeup and just act in a way that's not in anyway masculine. It's not like bisexual desires.
When I look at other women I want to be as beautiful as them. Not as handsome as all the guys. This is my first step at possibly identifying as female but idk where to start or what to think. Any and all help is appreciated.
Help in being feminine would be nice.
Help in possibly how to start cross dressing(what clothes to buy at first) or embracing femininity would also be appreciated.

Last edited by Fearusc; 04-05-15 at 02:06 AM. Reason: Remember something I wanted to say
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Old 04-05-15, 03:26 AM   #2
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Well i guess trying to be what you want to be would be the best. Being the image that you see yourself. Closer you can get to it, the more right it is, i think.

Road you are choosing is in fact though, but if that is who you are, then nothings gonna stop you.

Stay strong.
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Old 04-05-15, 03:45 AM   #3
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I know I just need that sort of kickstart to get going idk what sort of changes to make being raised male it won't all come naturally and I wanted advice maybe on how to become so effeminate that it may one day come naturally. Oh and without surgery if possible.

Last edited by Fearusc; 04-05-15 at 03:46 AM. Reason: Just wanted to add something
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Old 04-05-15, 07:05 AM   #4
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I'm no expert on the subject, however from the few cases I have seen, many times the first thing that changes is the clothing style. This helps in sending a sort of subconscious message to the brain. Some mannerisms follow though I'm not sure which ones are easier. With time it comes naturally the more you practice.
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Old 10-03-15, 07:29 AM   #5
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The most important thing: find some other transgender people in your area and hang with them. They will be glad to help you.

Pat

Last edited by Legolas; 10-04-15 at 03:59 AM.
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Old 01-05-16, 06:15 AM   #6
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Youtube can be a great resource for listening to trans people speak. I am transgender but I identify as non binary, I am female at birth but present masculine and have had top surgery but not on hormones. So many amazing trans channels on youtube that have been a great help to me. Good luck
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Old 02-20-16, 01:38 AM   #7
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I can relate to your situation very well I'd say.

I'm a guy who's always been a bit more on the feminine side, at first I didn't realize this, but it became very clear to me around the time when I graduated from highschool. My poses were more feminine than the other guys, and I never had the desire to truly become more manly.

I've always felt that men's clothing never truly fit on my body right. It's always felt rather wrong, and I've always had a fascination with cross-dressing. I have only started cross-dressing in the past year, and I'll get to that more later.

I'm attracted to women (and to an extent guys that look like girls), so I can't really relate to being too aware of men, though.

I have embraced my femininity, but I do not feel that there is anything wrong with the way I am. I haven't had surgery or used hormones, because I should be able to be happy with myself the way I am, and there's nothing wrong with being a feminine guy.

For becoming more feminine, I'd say start with finding a way to deal with any excessive body hair if you have any. Look into hair removal methods and determine which suits you the best. Personally, I epilate my legs and arms, and pluck my eyebrows (just to shape them) and mustache, and shave my beard area (in the future I will find a better way to deal with my beard, but for now shaving works for my needs).

If you've never done it before, try growing out your hair! make sure you learn how to care for it properly. The main thing is to not ravage your hair with a towel after bathing, and instead pat it dry, let it air dry, or use a hair dryer on a lower heat setting and without holding it too close to your hair. When combing/brushing it, start at the ends and then work your way up to avoid having problems with knots.

For your first choice in clothing, go for whatever you like! you don't have to go out in public right away or anything. I only cross-dress in private currently (with the exception of short walks), but I have shared pictures with some of my friends. If you are insistent on cross-dressing in public, I would recommend that you don't choose anything too flashy or revealing. Be subtle about it, unless you feel really confident in your femininity.

For where to get your clothes, it's quite hassle free to just order some things online. It can be way to embarrassing to go out and buy clothes by yourself, but if your girlfriend is in on your secret, then you could go shopping with her. I go out shopping with my female friend for clothes sometimes. You could also try thrift stores, you might find some good things there for both your male and female styles, and for cheap.

You could also buy a bra and stuff like that, and stuff it, if you want to give yourself the appearance of having breasts (and uh, if you want to hide a certain thing in between your legs, try tucking it in by using a "gaff").

Oh, one more thing, when choosing your clothes, make sure to pick things that cover up your manly features and give your overall shape more femininity. If your hips/waist are really thin, getting something that flares out around the area, it'll give the illusion that they are bigger. If your shoulders are wide, don't pick something that is tight or puffy around the shoulders, or it makes the shape too prominent or gives the illusion that they are bigger than they are. A looser top, or one that hides the neck area (like a cowl neck sweater) are nice choices.

I said a lot! sorry if I ran my mouth too much.
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