Starting as early as middle school, pretty much everyone thought I was gay and make jokes about that. They weren't malicious or anything, more like lighthearted teasing where I would be in on it and joke around myself. However, after hearing stuff like that over and over and over, I didn't like the fact that it was like everyone was deciding for me, which I think kept me in denial.
Anyways, I'm now out of college and feel like I've slowly became more accepting of the fact that I'm gay, but also scared to pursue my real feelings and I felt the easiest way was through some online dating website. I got a little rush from joining and it felt really nice for a bunch of people approach me and even better when someone thought I was cute, etc.
I joined roughly 6 months ago and started talking with this one guy who I think is really cute. It was odd on how similar we were and every time he messages me, I get butterflies that I never felt before. It's such a nice feeling where it would take away any reservations or fear of coming out.
I finally got the courage to ask him out for real, but it turns out he started a relationship recently during the time I was too scared to ask him out, and it has made me feel really sad. When he said that though, he said he wanted to still meet up as friends and if his new relationship fizzles, that he would still want to see where things went with me. So I said I would still love to meet even if it's just as friends sometime.
So now I'm upset and mad at myself that if I just asked him out sooner, as little as 3 weeks ago, that I could have avoided all of this. Is it false hope to believe maybe I still have a chance? If he wasn't interested, would he have just said he's in a relationship and not say that he wanted to still meet up as friends and not say that he would want to see where things went if his relationship is a dud?