Awkward situation at work
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Awkward situation at work

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Old 03-09-10, 02:28 AM   #1
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Question Awkward situation at work

Hey everyone,

I am a manger and she is my subordinate. I realized I was attracted to her when she began to touch my arm casually (perhaps by accident) and trying to get my attention through her glances. I don't know if she's really interested or she just wants to get closer to me because I am management, but I want to know what I should do from this point.

She is four years older than I am (we are in our 20s) and we have a lot of things in common that many girly girls would have no interest in. We both love video games and watching the news. She's really quiet and likes to keep to herself and I am more outgoing due to my job nature (retail).

I'm getting a lot of mixed signals from her and I don't know how to decipher it. One time she "accidentally" touched my rear end while walking by but never apologized for it. I found it really funny and thought nothing further of it. She also mentioned to me that her old roommates were lesbians and she did not know about it until after they moved out. It was really awkward the way it was brought up and I had no idea where it was going.

Another time a fellow coworker was joking around with me because I mentioned that my nose was itchy and they said that I was going to kiss a fool. Then they proceeded to check who was in the next room and low and behold she was in there and the other coworker asked if she wanted to kiss me. Of course, in the true retail homophobia climate she shook her head furiously saying no.

There are times that she gives me that look, the look of intrigue and wonder. I want to pursue this but I don't know the appropriate way to go about it. I do not want to risk my job (and going against social norms) but we seem to fit together so well that I'm afraid if I don't jump at this chance, I'll lose an opportunity to find true happiness.

I would really appreciate your advice!
Thanks for reading this long letter of desperation and confusion!
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Old 03-09-10, 08:17 PM   #2
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Hey!

I suggest you ask her out for a drink or meet up outside of work, you know, as friends. Maybe in a big group outing, to a pub or bar, so it's less awkward for either of you You could get to know eachother a bit more in a more social environment :)
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Old 03-09-10, 08:52 PM   #3
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Great idea, I didn't even think about a large group outing. That would make things a lot less weird if she's not really interested!

Thanks for replying to my thread! :D
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Old 03-10-10, 09:00 PM   #4
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That outing sounds like a good idea. Tell us how it is going.
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Old 03-11-10, 09:04 AM   #5
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Yeah.. I think a work outing seems like an awesome idea.. However, due to my own experiences at work functions, don't drink too much.. *Sigh* the 2008 Christmas Party was one to remember.. Of course it was for all the wrong reasons.. lol! I think no-one should have a workplace function with a karaoke machine and open bar present.. =P
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Old 03-11-10, 05:56 PM   #6
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Well... I think you should meet for dinner or something and just have some friendly fun. Get closer to her, as friends. Then maybe invite her over to play video games and bring up the fact that you're into the same sex and see if she confesses... If she does, you should seriously consider telling her your feelings and asking her out as MORE than friends.

Best of luck to you! :3
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Old 04-26-10, 01:45 AM   #7
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Thanks for the advice everyone.

To be honest nothing has happened since I started this thread. We have never seen each other outside of work and I'm sure that our circle of friends will never meet in the real world. I keep trying to build up some courage to ask her to hang out but in my mind I keep seeing her giving me a weird look and saying no.

I am so lost as to what to do.....
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Old 04-26-10, 08:16 PM   #8
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I think you should ask her to hang out. If she doesn't have the time or want to, I'm sure she'll tell you. But you have nothing to lose really. I would usually be happy if someone wanted to meet up. It is nice that someone enjoys your company, and I'm sure she'd like that too. I know it is scary, but if you don't, you'll not know what she'd say...
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Old 04-26-10, 08:50 PM   #9
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Be very careful, b/c you could lose your job. You don't know enough about her it seems, to know how she would react if you made your intentions clear. If you've misread the signals, and she's not even gay, she could be embarressed and uncomfortable; and any watercooler chitchat that might develope, and inevitably does, would make the situation worse; it could also make others uncomfortable if you were to date and they might complain.

At most, you should get to know her better, maybe see how she is at a company function/party, something you didn't initiate. It only takes one complaint for you to lose your job. Just saying, be careful. Maybe you wont both work together forever, and you'll have a better opportunity.
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Old 07-26-10, 01:58 PM   #10
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i thhink u should ask her to hang out seems to me shes probably gay
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