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Old 06-20-20, 05:29 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Nottingham
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Default My story

This is my first time writing anything, I'm here because I haven't got any family or friends, 3 kids one is 4 months old, iv always been on my own my mum left me when I was 9, dad made me homeless because I was pregnant at 17 I lived in a hostel and lost everyone, his dad was very abusive and controlling for many years, now I have a new partner with my young baby and it's nightmare, I think I'm struggling with some sort of depression since the birth, I feel to ashamed to get help to be honest, I also have physical health problem that's left me house bound for about a year now and live inconsistent pain, iv had very little help and no emotional support what do ever,i haven't had a visitor come see me for about a year now, and no phone me anymore, people just don't like me. So I'm the problem only my partner's friends and family come round for him, I feel lost and lonely, I have no one to talk to or who even cares about me, my partner abuse to me is getting worse, he keeps leaving me with the baby more and he does ery little to help around the house, everything is an argument coz he thinks I'm pathetic as I'm struggling with everything, he calls me horrible names every single day i have to try and hide my feeling from him, everyday at some point i cry private without no one knowing, I put a fake smile on most days just to get through the day but it's getting harder and harder to keep strong his violence and lies are getting worse and he terrifies what he could do to me when he's mad, I seen he's been trying to meet other women and hasn't done in the past, no one wants me or loves me, I really hate myself I can't remember last time I looked in a mirror I'm just a fat ugly abnormal thing, mynonly way out of this pain is to go, I'm no good to my kids I can't take care of them or maintain my home anymore and I hate myself for being a terrible mum to them they deserve better then me,nmy partner hates me anyway he just does thing for me so he don't have u hear me moaning he would never do anything just because he loved me he's only here because he loved the kids, there's no point in staying here anymore it's a pointless life, my kids are better of without me, and no one else would even notice I was gone, sorry for the long post but I have no we're else to turn with anyone who understands me
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Old 06-21-20, 10:28 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: A Fruitloop Daydream
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Hey Charlotte92, welcome to TTL.

I am not great with advice. I am fairly quiet and don't usually even try to give out advice. But, your post couldn't just be left at hello. So, here goes.

You need to get to a safe place. Abusive relationships never lead to good outcomes. You can't get your head straight without being away from the stress you are currently under.

I am sorry you are lonely. I have that problem myself. Being quiet leads to few real life friends.

I am not sure what more I can say. But if you want to chat more about things. I will see what I can come up with.

Please take care. Road Ratt
Even if our scars donít match thereís no wrong you canít make better if you can figure out a way to change your mind.

And sure thereís things I regret not doing or doing. Those thoughts climb my spine like spiders, and then Iím really the stranger in my own bed,

and that ball of nervous gets pushed into every crack. Thatís whatís holding the bricks together.

- Listener
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Old 07-29-20, 04:39 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 4

Hello I also suffer in this life as many of us do. I contemplate everyday attempted many unsuccessful times but what has gotten me through my 39 years of life is knowing it won't be forever.

First no relationship is perfect at all some are salvagble for the sake of the children but not I repeat not at the expense of the safety of the family. There are always a number of outside factors that will effect a relationship but I can guarantee one thing. At some point you both loved each other if not you wouldn't share children together. The thing you have to examine and act upon is the abuse ever going to end. I know you have asked that many times in life. But if the abuser does not want to change then you have to make the change for you and your children. BTW the economy is in shambles so its understandable to be without work. But there is hope there is always HOPE. Remove the fear the objections and take action to improve your life and your children's lives. A child has no love more important than that from a mother. Regardless what you can financially afford Love is Free Love is Forgiveness Love is Blind Love does not hurt you Love does not betray you Love can come from anyone.....

I hope this brightens your day and if you need help please seek assistance from your area of abused women and family's assistance. Not sure about UK laws but here in USA we have resources for women and families like yours and I would hope they have the equivalent in UK and I am sure they do.

I will take some time out of the day to reasurch some resources for you on this and post a reply here.

My only Hope is it is not too late.

My wife ex husband committed sucicde and we never expected it to happen. Suicide destroyed my wife's full grown Kids. They now have major issues because their father whom they loved dearly did not think anyone cared and decided his life wasn't worth it. Now I ask you think of not the Love other have for you But Your Love you have for them and ask yourself how would they be able to cope if that was to happen....

Final thoughts
In 2017 I found a man online who changed my life forever. Since finding him I turn to his videos for emotional assurances and support.
I encourage you as well to search him out.

Les Brown Motivational Speaker

Blessing and Peace I ask for you and your family.

For you are my sister my friend my neighbor and my mate in this life.
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Old 07-29-20, 04:47 PM   #4
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Link provided below
Refuge is committed to a world where domestic violence and violence against women and girls is not tolerated and where women and children can live in safety.

We aim to empower women and children to rebuild their lives, free from violence and fear. We provide a range of life-saving and life-changing services, and a voice for the voiceless.
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Old 07-29-20, 04:48 PM   #5
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