just trying something new
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just trying something new

This is a discussion on just trying something new within the Introductions forums, part of the Forum Announcements category; Hi everybody I just got here today, sometimes you just need to spill your guts out with no one judging ...

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Old 12-08-10, 10:19 PM   #1
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Hi everybody I just got here today, sometimes you just need to spill your guts out with no one judging you and thats what i'm looking forward to do here; a little bit about myself I'm twenty years old university student youngest of three kids, i never thought it would be so hard to begin talking about this, about my life and how everyday is a little bit of a struggle to just get out of bed because you are afraid of looking at the mirror and seeing how sad and pathetic you look. I started feeling like this when I was about sixteen the time when you realize that people can actually be really mean and can reject you to your face. when i was in twelve grade i started to self harm until my best friend saw me and talked to the trust counselor that did nothing but tel me that i had to find coping skills to what i was feeling, i did i stop harming me where everybody could see it and now i do it sometimes in hidden places that only i know about, i go out with friends, drink almost every time i go out party hard, but study hard too, you see my sister and brother are both the perfect kids you know the ones that get all As and that don't cause any trouble, I'm different i try not to cause any pain but sometimes i get the worst part out of me and well some of you know how that goes, when i was about 18 i started eating and purging i still do it sometimes but my ph is a little but high and they have me on medications for that; my parents have no idea about all this amazingly i've been able to keep all this a secret and it gets heavier every day that goes by, i really dont know what to do with my self the guilt that i feel is more than i can carry on my shoulders how is it that someone that has it all, a home a university friends can feel this way i don't understand, i was about to tell my parents about it but then the pther day i saw that my dad had pictures of a coworker of his in panties on his phone and i figure they have their own demons to deal with that really destroyed me you think your family is everything that they would never do anything incorrect because thats the way that they raised you and to find this out and be the only one that knows in the family is not fun i cried it out and put it in my box of secrets along with 20,000 other things that i have in there i just hope it doesn't get too full to close.
i know this is a lot but is the first time in all my life that i expose myself to people and i just couldn't stop writing.
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Old 12-09-10, 01:23 AM   #2
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Welcome to TTL, I think you will find that you can let things out and be able to vent here. I'm so sorry your going through your own hardship and have that secret about your father too. I think you deserve to be able to talk about it, I hope you would reconsider talking to your parents too. You deserve help with what's going on and family support would be a good thing for you.
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Old 12-09-10, 03:26 AM   #3
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Hello and welcome to the forum. Ppl here are very loving and caring and gives lot of support .
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