I'm retired and sick, but I want to be useful.
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I'm retired and sick, but I want to be useful.

This is a discussion on I'm retired and sick, but I want to be useful. within the Introductions forums, part of the Forum Announcements category; Hi, everyone. My name is "positive". I used to be a graphic designer but for sickness reason I had to ...

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Old 11-20-15, 03:35 AM   #1
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Hi, everyone. My name is "positive". I used to be a graphic designer but for sickness reason I had to retire earlier than I wished.

I named myself "positive" because I want to remind myself to always find something positive out of the negative. This helps me respond less negatively to life.

I had been a very gloomy person. In fact I had more negative traits than I'd like to admit. I was cynical, irritable, insecure, obsessive, worrisome, narrow-minded, unfriendly to life... you name it, I've had it. Life to me was a perpetual trek with self-inflicted problems to be solved rather than an interesting journey to be enjoyed.

Around my thirties, my negative character took toll on my physical and mental health while I was working as a photographer. I was stressed out under financial and deadline pressure. On top of chronic fatigue and insomnia, I suffered from panic disorder and depression and was unable to function. I had consulted numerous physicians and psychiatrists and had to rely on psychiatric drugs, but my condition worsen and I was suicidal.

Just when everything seemed hopeless, I stumbled upon an herbalist who pointed out that my problem was entirely mental and that the best cure for it lies in my mind. He suggested me to adopt a more positive attitude towards life and to look at life's problems from more helpful viewpoints. From there I began to learn to respond more positively to everything in life. Being positive is not a panacea, but it at least reduced many of my self-inflicted problems. As I continued adjusting my negative thoughts, I gradually recuperated both emotionally and physically, albeit a long process. With the encouragement of my family and friends, and the help of meditation, I gradually weaned off psychiatric drugs and restored myself to be functional.

I continued to work as a graphic designer for more than a decade, along the way I always remind myself to respond positively to all sorts of personal and work related challenges.

In 2009 I become sick, not too serious but too weak to work even for part-time. I still want to be useful, since then I often share my experience with others about how responding more positively to life can help leading a more joyful and productive life, and I hope I could have the opportunity to share my experience with the members here as well. You'll be helping me by allowing me to help, that makes me feel I'm still useful.
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Old 11-20-15, 06:54 PM   #2
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Hey positive welcome.
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Even if our scars donít match thereís no wrong you canít make better if you can figure out a way to change your mind.

And sure thereís things I regret not doing or doing. Those thoughts climb my spine like spiders, and then Iím really the stranger in my own bed,

and that ball of nervous gets pushed into every crack. Thatís whatís holding the bricks together.


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Old 11-22-15, 08:49 AM   #3
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Hi positive!

Glad you're here :) This is a great site, and you're great for wanting to help others.

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Old 11-24-15, 11:13 AM   #4
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I was under severe depression for 5 months and taken out of work Oct 2014 to Feb 2015, they laid me off after. 1 year later Nov 2015 I got a new job.

Keep with it and don't isolate. Things will turn out for the better given time, this is a period that makes you stronger.
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Old 11-24-15, 03:20 PM   #5
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Dear Positive,

I have been in a severe depressive state for 26 months now and I try to think positive but nothing seems to work. I have been on numerous medications but nothing seems to help me.

I wish I could be my old happy self again but have only become suicidal with my thoughts. Stories like yours use to give me hope but I think it's not in the cards for me.

I hope you are able to help others on this site to recover - keep up the good work.

sook
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Old 11-28-15, 07:26 AM   #6
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Dear Sook,

I understand that you've tried thinking positively, as well as tried numerous medications and both didn't work for you.

I'm sure you've experienced lots of frustration managing your depression, but please keep your hope, for there are still ways that could help improving the situation, so that you could be your old happy self again.

It's true that positive thinking can be useless to many of us, as depression can shut up our brains from thinking positively. In this respect I'd like to share my experience of how to open our brain for positive thoughts to prosper in the midst of depression.

Since the posts in this Introduction forum should be limited to general introductions and greetings, I've started a thread "How to start thinking positively in midst of depression" in the Depression forum. Please take a look.

positive
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Old 11-28-15, 07:33 AM   #7
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Dear INFJCAT,

Congratulations for your new job.

I'm sure your success was attributed to your optimism and positiveness, turning bad times into opportunities to grow.

positive
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Old 11-28-15, 10:19 AM   #8
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Dear Positive,

Thank you.

sook
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Old 11-28-15, 10:21 AM   #9
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[QUOTE=positive;2344994]
Quote:
I named myself "positive" because I want to remind myself to always find something positive out of the negative. This helps me respond less negatively to life.
Hi, positive! I'm quoting excerpts of your OP that I connected with when I read them.

I really like your name! It's amazing, isn't it - the power of positive thinking. I'm not saying it's a cure-all, but it certainly is one good tool in the toolbox of living life.

Quote:
Around my thirties, my negative character took toll on my physical and mental health while I was working as a photographer. I was stressed out under financial and deadline pressure. On top of chronic fatigue and insomnia, I suffered from panic disorder and depression and was unable to function. I had consulted numerous physicians and psychiatrists and had to rely on psychiatric drugs, but my condition worsen and I was suicidal.
Wow, someone else on TTL has similar symptoms as I do. I was diagnosed with myalgic encephalomyelitis/fibromyalgia (also known as chronic fatigue syndrome) way back in 1999. I too am currently looking at my life and thinking about early retirement due to the relapse of symptoms that are dragging me down.
Quote:
Just when everything seemed hopeless, I stumbled upon an herbalist who pointed out that my problem was entirely mental and that the best cure for it lies in my mind. He suggested me to adopt a more positive attitude towards life and to look at life's problems from more helpful viewpoints. From there I began to learn to respond more positively to everything in life. Being positive is not a panacea, but it at least reduced many of my self-inflicted problems. As I continued adjusting my negative thoughts, I gradually recuperated both emotionally and physically, albeit a long process. With the encouragement of my family and friends, and the help of meditation, I gradually weaned off psychiatric drugs and restored myself to be functional.
That is incredible! I too am trying alternate therapies other than RX. I have a high sensitivity to chemicals so most of the meds my doctor tries on me make me extremely nauseous. I've been working with a master herbalist too to use more natural products to manage my symptoms. For the most part, it's been working satisfactorily. Although like you say, no miracle cure!
Quote:
You'll be helping me by allowing me to help, that makes me feel I'm still useful.
I agree with you about the importance of feeling useful! As I contemplate the possibility of retiring from my job next year, I keep focussed on the main objective: to have the energy and strength so I can continue to have purpose and routine in my life. A job can give us that - and I happen to be lucky enough to really like my job. But the gas-tank is running low and I haven`t been able to fill it up, so the job takes the majority of my energy and focus. Which doesn't leave me with much to do the things that are really meaningful in life, like art. Just like you! I really enjoyed your post and found it helpful - so thank you for sharing your story!
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