Hello everyone... I just joined this forum because I really want to learn to love life again, but I feel so stuck. I don't want to bother my family and my friends with this stuff, but I have to talk to some people about it, and because I'm not exactly crazy about the idea of leaving my house... this seems like the right place.
- I have been depressed since I was 12. Some days are better than others. Some months are better than others. I was really lucky because I was free of this beast for a whole year in 2019 and 2020. But it's back now, in full force.
- My mom is my only reason to get out of bed every morning. She believes in me and has never left my side while I destroyed my other relationships. I have recently decided to move back home after I started hating being alone, and it hasn't been easy to lose the independence as a young adult. I feel that I'm regressing.
- My job is okay. I am lucky to have one. I need to hold on to this specific position for legal reasons, but I can't stand it anymore. They're nice people, but I'd do anything to start over... although I can't do that if I ever wanna go back abroad.
- Everyday feels like a chore. Every thought feels like parallel parking with a stick shift. I get triggered by everything, and I hate that. I'm absolutely insufferable these days....
- The funniest thing is my friends know me as a very zestful and genuinely bubbly person. But I'm utterly alone back here and it kills me...
- My favorite animals are ostriches. What about you?
I guess I joined this forum because I want to be my best self again. I'm just exhausted at the constant fighting to get better. I don't know where to get the energy to keep "trying."
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