Inspiring post for panic/anxiety sufferers.
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Inspiring post for panic/anxiety sufferers.

This is a discussion on Inspiring post for panic/anxiety sufferers. within the Inspirational Quotes and Stories forums, part of the Inspiration category; Hi guys, I was just browsing panic-related stuff on Google and I came across this thread in which someone asked ...

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Old 11-04-12, 07:21 AM   #1
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Default Inspiring post for panic/anxiety sufferers.

Hi guys, I was just browsing panic-related stuff on Google and I came across this thread in which someone asked "Have YOU ever been able to feel like you felt before you ever had a panic attack? Does it ever get back to how you were years ago? Can you feel sane again?"

Good question, I thought.

Without further ado I'd like to share an answer to that thread which I found to be very uplifting. Hopefully some others can be inspired or reassured by it.

Quote:
I don't think you go back to who you were before the attacks. I don't see how it's possible. Even if I never have another attack again--even if there is not a shadow of a fear darkening any remaining second of my life--I am a different person now. But then, you know, I would've been a different person anyway, just different in another direction, because the thing about panic disorder is, it seems to take a while to really get rid of, to go into remission. Time changes you. Everything changes you, and you can't look back upon some golden age.

But who you were before the attacks isn't the only definition of sanity, and what's interesting is building your sanity back after all this. What's interesting is the kind of person you can become, having had your life ruined. What can you learn about this? What can you learn about the way you are, right now, constantly monitoring yourself for a threat that, I promise you, simply will not come to pass?

I have reached a point in my life that, at the heights of my panic disorder 15 or so years ago, I just didn't see happening. I honestly thought life was over. Either physical life was over--that pounding in my chest really was going to be a heart attack one day--or mental life was over--and I'd just sort of sink into madness, and not the cool romantic gothic kind either, but the kind where you sit fidgeting and muttering to yourself while roiling in your own wastes. Yeah, neither of those things happened, as utterly convincing as the images were. I also never accidentally vomited in front of a large group of people, never passed out, never died in a car crash, never got botulism from eating canned food...and after a while, after the panic attacks went away, I had to start restructuring my life because, you know, after you don't have these big dramatic terrifying events happen after a while, and after the fear of them becomes less acute...something's got to come in to fill their place. So instead of being a homeless crazy person, I am supporting a household of happy children with a job so demanding that by all rights I should be banging down the psych ward's door to get in. And I'm surviving it somehow, which astonishes me. Half a Klonopin here, some breathing exercises there...and I'm surviving. And doing frighteningly well at it. I have my moments. I would like to get in and see someone, for some kind of psychological tune-up, because some parts of the process are just easier with professional help. But still. Living, and in a way not totally defined by some stupid miswiring of the amygdala or whatever it turns out to be.

You will, in fact, feel better. You will be happy again. You will go first minutes, then hours, then days, weeks, and months between twinges of panic anxiety. Life will not be stress-free. But you will find yourself able to navigate that stress, and there will be some forms of it you find yourself thriving on. You will not be your old self, but you weren't going to be your old self anyway. You'll be your new self, and your new self will, frankly, be more interesting than the old, because it has seen more, done more, understood more about itself. And when you find yourself with free time on your hands--because what's going to amaze you is how much time anxiety takes, how much time you spent thinking over whatever it is that bothers you, your heart or throat or whatever--when you find yourself with free time, you're going to take on some of your old interests, and find some new ones, and they're going to help you rebuild yourself. At some point you're going to say to yourself about an activity, "I haven't done this in forever, how did I ever let ridiculous symptoms stop me from doing this?" and then you're going to get back to enjoying it.

It is really good to be on the other side of the disorder. Even if it scars you, even if it changes everything. It's good to be on the other side.

posted by mittens at 9:37 PM on June 18, 2011
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Old 11-04-12, 07:24 AM   #2
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inspirational in deed!

thanks!
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Old 01-13-13, 10:30 PM   #3
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thanks for that knox.
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Old 05-20-13, 10:40 AM   #4
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Thank for sharing.
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