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This is a discussion on Filthy within the Inspirational Music and Movies forums, part of the Inspiration category; im sure no one really cares that i post lyrics here but oh well heres some more..... so im down ...

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Old 04-25-10, 05:37 AM   #1
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im sure no one really cares that i post lyrics here but oh well heres some more.....

so im down on the ground with one knee
gun in my hand, all i can think about is she
as if she knew this is how my life would be
the gun to head combination is so key
thinking about my life just makes me pissed
saying goodbye to all the oppertunites that i have missed
walking in these lonly streets
hearing nothing but the rain and beats
ya mother fuckers talk is cheap
so walk in my shoes and try to leap
chances are you wont because im so discreate
its kinda hard to feel the heat
when im already in this hell
what the hell is going on, am i dieing? i cant tell
so here's my soul, how much will it sell?
i need money to bail from this cell
to help me out this hole i dug my self
the last person i want to be is my self
wondering what to do and where to go
man i wish that i would just know
but i dont
and its probably my fault i wrote
this pen and paper is so appealing
and it helps carry out everything im feeling
so whats the damage that im dealing?
i mean im still on one knee and kneeling
i mean im not getting any better, im crying
because deep down i know im dieng
and if im dieing then im lyeing
lyeing to me,
man 5 years ago i did not see
the outcome of my life come to an end so quickly

well that came out nice didnt it? im thinking of doing more and stuff and making it into an accual song but i can never seem to make a course. well let me know what you think. if you dont like it, tell me why and maybe i can improve :). gotta love TTL.
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Old 04-25-10, 06:35 AM   #2
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I like it, quite a bit actually.

Just curious, what kinda tune you planning to turn this into if you make it into a song? With a small change in rhythm I can see it working really well as a rap sort of thing. add a chorus and you could have quite a good rap/choral thing going on here.

This is the sort of thing I can see it as, YouTube - Senser - State Of Mind
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Old 04-26-10, 01:48 AM   #3
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shit i posted this in the wrong area, should be in creative writing. anyway my rythem is fine, you would need to hear it come from my mouth to hear it right :P my flow is unique. anyway thanks for the comment Today :)
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