I'm overweight, and I absolutely hate it. Every time I look in the mirror, I see this ugly girl. I know I'm pretty underneath it all, but sometimes it's hard to show that side of me off when the outside of me is so ugly and disgusting. How do I cope with this? By eating, of course. Not only the overweight thing, and feeling like I'm ugly, but I am starting to feel the physical side effects as well. My heart is starting to beat like crazy. By digestive system is completely out of whack. My laziness factor is skyrocketting. I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm upset, I eat whenever I'm out with friends. It's like the goddamned addiction that's going to kill me one day if I can't learn to control.

I can't exercise. Not yet. I don't have the stamina to do that yet. Partially because of my disability, but also because of my weight. It also has a little bit to do with my depression. I'm just never in the mood to get up and go anywhere, which is why I always eat. Does anyone have any suggestions for me, on how to loose weight? I really want/need to. I can't live like this anymore. It's starting to affect my mood--I'm this horrible bitch to everyone, most of the time. I pisses me off when my thin friends say they're fat. I've almost punched my boyfriend for saying it. He's so fit it makes me jealous! He's made comments about how he likes thin girls, and always thought he'd be with one, and it makes me feel worse.

I will tell you--I have considered just not eating anymore. The problem? I can't stop! I've also considered just eating one, smaller, meal everyday. I just don't know if I could stand doing that. Please, don't suggest eating 6 small meals in a day. My brain doesn't yet understand what small means. Believe me, I have tried. It did not work.

Please help? I want to be pretty. I to believe I am pretty.

Well Sweet, I had a physical this summer and my doc told me that if I didn't get the cholesterol down, my kidneys and heart would be at major risk. I'm talking like 'having a stroke any day now' kinda risk. So my diet and exercise practices had to change, period.

First it was hard because all I ever ate was meat and cheese, but a little googling and honest effort really did me some good. I also had the 2-week 'hate life because my metabolism is changing' phase, but somehow it melded with my 'girlfriend and best friend left me and i'm miserable' phase and both lost their edge soon as I adapted and started feeling physically better.

While it was a sudden, violent change from my former lifestyle, I lost 17 pounds in 3 weeks and every bit of progress makes me want to continue. I'm still depressed and still hate getting out of bed some days, but I know I have to get out there and at least walk it off and break a sweat.

To think I was suicidal a few weeks ago but when confronted with death that wasn't by my own design, I fought it tooth and nail. To be painfully honest, I didn't want to die like a 'bitch.' I didn't want my last hours to be spent in a hospital hooked up to a machine like my dead relatives (heart disease runs in my fam). In a moment of clarity, I wanted to die like a man... saving strippers from a burning bus. Or something like that, I guess.

My motives are a little different... I have little desire to be pretty, for fear of attracting shallow types anyway. But I enjoy the nuances of the struggle because it can only help me in the long run. It's pain, but it's the right kind of pain. And since I'm so down on myself all the time anyway, I don't mind the pain.

If I could do this, cold turkey, anybody can do it by choice. And judging from the strength of character you've exhibited in your other posts, I don't doubt at all that you can get where you want to be with a few informed changes.

well with excersice just do WHAT YOU CAN...everyday it will get easier and easier..thats the thing many say they cant but they can do something..maybe not excersice in the traditional sense ...just dont loose focus cause you dont see results..things like this take time

as for diet..try a meditraiean diet..which is healthy and low cal. which is great for the heart

Did you consider just going for a walk everyday or something simple like that? start off small.

dear, i know that it's not really a legitimate suggestion, but it worked for me (not on purpose, but did) so i will say anyway - first of all since i went vegan - i lost quite a bit of weight, and i have ditched my chocholate addiction TOTALLY and COMPLETELY!
and i used to down like... 2 bars each day - that's about 1000 kcals, so you can imagine.
also - i just feel sooooo much healthier. i take vitamin b supplements - just to avoid possible lacks, and that's it!
so if you want to save LOTS of lives and feel better - it's a possibility.

also - i think it's just a matter of wanting it enough, a matter of decision. just telling yourself - you want thin more than you want deserts. nothing else works really. trust me, i tried.

and just so you don't think i'm all bs - i used to weigh about 250 lbs, and now i'm almost 50 lbs lighter.
and i don't plan on stopping.

sorry if i sound harsh :/ i don't mean to. i just don't want to give you any bullshit "advice".

in any case - best of luck dear. i know you can do it.

I don't know the answer but I feel the same way...except I don't have any disability except my own lack of willpower. Thanks for posting this. I'd like to see more suggestions. So far, none are very helpful.

I'm kinda skeptical of the idea of eating less to lose weight. Maybe I'm way off on this, but I read a long time ago that starving yourself does not really help to lose weight and sometimes you'll actually gain weight, because your body reacts to the loss of nutrition by storing more of the food you eat as fat as a defense mechanism. I don't know if it's true though. Maybe someone can correct me on this, but I don't recommend dieting.

I've become more and more convinced that the way to lose weight is to change what you eat and not how much you eat. I don't know what it is that you eat, but eat much less meat and lots more fruits and vegetables. You don't have to go vegan, but cut way back on meat anyway. I'm not convinced that you have to worry about counting calories or anything like that. Eat not just less meat either, but less animal-based protein in general, and less sugar. I've been reading more and more that animal-based protein has been consistently linked to heart disease, diabetes, breast cancer, osteoporosis, massive weight gain and so on and so on. I think America is such an overweight country because the amount of animal-based protein consumed here is unprecedented throughout human history and throughout most of the world today. You just don't see overweight people in primarily vegetarian societies like in rural China. Most Americans eat some sort of meat or animal-based food for 3 meals a day 7 days a week. The level of protein in the average American diet is somewhere around 20-30%, which has never before been seen in history, and the results have been catastrophic for the health care system.

Industrialized factory farming has made meat cheap and widely available to even the poorest individuals, and it hasn't really been like this for that long, which is one reason why the serious effects of eating so much meat has only started to come to light recently. It's not necessary to go vegan (even though I'm strongly in favor of it) - eating a little bit of meat every now and then is fine, but most people eat way too much of it. You can eat no animal-based foods at all and still get all the vitamins and minerals that the body needs. Generally, the more colorful the fruit or vegetable is, the healthier it is. I don't think there's any need to monitor the amount of individual vitamins and minerals or calories that you take. Just eat a wide variety of fruits and vegetables and whole grains and you should be fine. Watch out for sugar though.

Exercise is also vitally important of course. Changing what you eat alone won't do it. Like has been said before, start small. You don't have to do it everyday. Go on walks for a while first. One of my brother's friends is in the air force, and he gave me some tips once on how to get in shape fast like how it's done in basic training. He was really out of shape before he went into the military and now he's very strong and well-built. You want to exercise until it feels like you can't do it anymore. The military pushes people so hard for a reason. You want to lift weights until you max out, or can't lift them anymore. You want to run until your legs become sore. If your muscles become sore from the exercise, that's a good thing. You want to destroy muscle so that when it rebuilds itself, it will come back stronger each time. It's important to get the heart rate going for extended periods. I would recommend 30 minutes or so of intense exercise a few times per week. You don't need any fancy equipment or anything like that. I think exercise machines like on TV commercials are huge rip-offs.

It may seem a little overwhelming but it isn't as difficult as it sounds. You just have to be persistent about it. It takes a lot of time and dedication, but anyone can do it. I hope some of this helps.

I think attitude is the first part to overcome, need to shut up and falsify the voices that tell you not to exercise or eat better (all of them!) as well as the ones that tell you to eat when you're feeling insecure/anxious. Need to do this before contemplating nutrition and exercise, since they're useless without the right mentality. Also disregard everyone else's opinion of your weight (including society's) and determine your own reasons for loosing weight, that's where real motivation will come from.

*Jaw agape in pure shock* Are you KIDDING me?!!


You know who's ugly? - Britney Spears. And it's not 'cause she's fat or that she looks like she's 60; it's because she's a fuckin' bitch.


And my God strike me down if I'm lying about this any of this:

I don't see exterior beauty. I hear other guys say, "Wow! That girl is hot! Don't you think she's hot, Shadow?", and in 100% sincerity, I really have no idea; because I know nothing about her personality.

But I know your personality, Sweet, and every time I try to give you a face when we have a conversation, I picture someone who works at Hooters.

And may I be damned to Hell if I'm making a single word of that up...

lol shadow, that made me laugh. Thanks for that.

sweet, you know what I did? I started drinking water with those propel packets in them. It fills me up and I've lost 27 lbs. so far. I'm not a plain water drinker so the propel packets have been a lifesaver to me. I am now drinking at least 8 glasses a day. I use a special 16 oz. thermos.

btw......you are beautiful.