Aww Grace, you poor girl!! You are going through a loss just as legitimate as when somebody looses a person to death, because in your life he has 'died'.
Be patient with yourself because grieving can be a long process. And as mentioned already, take an active roll in loving yourself. You are wonderful and worth while. You are the best, most wonderful woman you know! You are also your own best friend.
When I first dealt with hard things in my life, I had a friend who told me about learning to love himself. I tried to do what he said he did. I look at myself in the mirror every day and said, "I love you" out loud for an entire year before I finally believed it.
I have also found when I am grieving that I feel better if I tell myself out loud that I accept me, even if I am hurting and feeling alone. When I feel bad I talk to myself out loud in private and tell me that "I love you" for everything I am including the things that are wrong. I say, "I love you for..., I understand you feel... I care that you... I know you..." and try to put it all into words out loud. I put my arms around my shoulders at the end of the session and lean my head on one arm and rock myself like a mother rocks a baby, and sometimes I cry. This has helped me feel better in dealing with my grief from loss in my life.
Take heart, you will feel better soon.
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