they dont have to die to be a loss
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they dont have to die to be a loss

This is a discussion on they dont have to die to be a loss within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; it feels like someone took my heart out, like my chest is going to cave in any second. the days ...

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Old 04-11-09, 03:24 PM   #1
 
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Default they dont have to die to be a loss

it feels like someone took my heart out, like my chest is going to cave in any second. the days are fine, but at night, its like i have to curl up in a ball to avoid literally falling apart. its been 7 months since he left me, i should be over him by now. i feel like no one cares. i have to rely on myself just to survive, but it feels like thats not enough.
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Old 04-11-09, 03:32 PM   #2
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When I was 19 When My boyfriend of 2 years at the time left me It took me over a year to get over him I'm 23 and well over him and in A very good relationship now.

I just wanted to tell you it does get better it just takes time
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Old 04-11-09, 04:24 PM   #3
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I'm sorry your hurting! Things will get better! It just takes time..and I know it's hard to wait..our society is not based on waitin! We want things NOW!! Unfortunatly some things need time to heal! 7 months is long enough tho! Try to get yourself out! Find a hobby or class or anything to get you back into the land of living again!You can do it!!
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Old 04-11-09, 07:19 PM   #4
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You're right hon. Grieving isn't just for the bereaved. TA hit the spot about society not wanting to wait for anything. it moves at such a fast pace and requires you to move with it, but you can't power grieve can you. What you can do is become active in your healing though. You are enough and how you feel about yourself determines that. Get active then in becoming your own best friend and start nurturing you. what do you think it will take to get you feeling at peace with you? Do you have any suggestions?
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Old 04-13-09, 05:07 AM   #5
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Aww Grace, you poor girl!! You are going through a loss just as legitimate as when somebody looses a person to death, because in your life he has 'died'.

Be patient with yourself because grieving can be a long process. And as mentioned already, take an active roll in loving yourself. You are wonderful and worth while. You are the best, most wonderful woman you know! You are also your own best friend.

When I first dealt with hard things in my life, I had a friend who told me about learning to love himself. I tried to do what he said he did. I look at myself in the mirror every day and said, "I love you" out loud for an entire year before I finally believed it.

I have also found when I am grieving that I feel better if I tell myself out loud that I accept me, even if I am hurting and feeling alone. When I feel bad I talk to myself out loud in private and tell me that "I love you" for everything I am including the things that are wrong. I say, "I love you for..., I understand you feel... I care that you... I know you..." and try to put it all into words out loud. I put my arms around my shoulders at the end of the session and lean my head on one arm and rock myself like a mother rocks a baby, and sometimes I cry. This has helped me feel better in dealing with my grief from loss in my life.

Take heart, you will feel better soon.
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