Dear Don Quixote: Oh my goodness, dear. That five year span was so incredibly tough! That's a lot for one person to deal with.
I'm hesitant to tell anyone how to grieve, cuz I think it's a really personal thing. What makes sense to me for grieving might not make sense to another. Do you feel "frozen" or blocked inside? I would be too, if I had so many losses in a relatively short span of time to process.
On an intellectual level, I find reading about Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's "cycle of grieving" to help me frame the flurry of thoughts associated with my grief. I find it helpful to identify the denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance/peace stages when they come. It isn't a tidy process, mind you. I have jumped from denial to depression to anger - all over the map. But it helped me trust that I wasn't going crazy.
On an emotional level, I get really scared grieving alone. I prefer to have my husband or a close friend near by. Not at my side - because I personally need to go inside myself to process my feelings, but I benefit from having someone I feel safe with to vocalize my feelings to once I've explored them by myself. I'm going to see my counsellor this Friday too, which I'm glad for. She's unconditional and nonjudgemental, and a genuinely supportive person. So she will help too. (My Mom just passed away last week, so my grief for her is pretty fresh.)
Does any of this seem to make a connection for you? Grief work is so personal, but I find the two biggies - emotions and thoughts - are pieces that everyone I've ever known who was dealing with grief had to work through.
My thoughts are with you. I hope you get support and some movement toward a positive direction with your own grief work.