RIP My Unborn
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RIP My Unborn

This is a discussion on RIP My Unborn within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Seriously can't stomach up the bollocks to say the title of this thread. It's been 2 years since my child ...

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Old 06-26-13, 08:18 PM   #1
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Seriously can't stomach up the bollocks to say the title of this thread.

It's been 2 years since my child died. I was only 20 at the time. There's not one day that goes by where I don't think "what if". I mean, fuck, my dad doesn't even know about this. It's taken my 15 minutes to get this far with this thread. Fuck.

Things with me haven't been the same since. Okay- I was in a relationship at the time with a girl, she fell pregnant. It's a weird feeling. It's like your totally in disbelief, but your happy because you can have the chance to raise a child, teach him things, all of that stuff. But I never got to do any of that... I'm crying like a twat now lol. In short, she had an ectopic pregnancy, which is where the fetus is in fallopian tube. Doctors said it would of killed them both if she didn't abort the baby, because the fallopian tube would of burst.

So it was basically either two lives end; or one.

But she didn't tell me any of this. She just went to the doctors, had the forced abortion, came home, rang me and said "I'm not pregnant, I read the pregnancy test wrong".

Eventually, she told me the truth... Safe to say I left her, and have been single ever since.

Anyway, this thread was for my unborn child. You'll always be in my mind. I love you.
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Old 06-26-13, 11:03 PM   #2
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Oh boy, CottonRox. It's sad that it was an ectopic. The unfortunate truth is that there is no way that I know of in the medical community for an ectopic pregnancy to be at all successful for the fetus. That's a 0% possibility of success. My area of expertise in work is in doing ultrasound, so I've seen my share of these and am familiar with the dangers of the situation. Yes, they can easily kill both the mother and baby and it was lucky she caught it right away. Otherwise the fallopian tube ruptures, the fetus is lost in this process, and she bleeds out internally. There are zero fallopian tube pregnancies that are successful, to my knowledge. They are all ectopics that have the bad result. :( Nobody can see the problem from the outside either if her tube has ruptured or if she has the ectopic. If it is not caught and surgically dealt with, nobody thinks there is anything wrong and they don't realize why the woman is in pain, etc, until too late.

Try not to be so hard on yourself or her for having done the surgery. It is a sad loss but unavoidable in this case from what you have shared. I hope you have another chance to be a father some time soon with a woman you are ready to become a parent with. You have time still for the right time to happen.

I hope you feel better soon. I understand how it feels to mourn the loss of a child, too.
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Old 06-26-13, 11:08 PM   #3
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I hope you have another chance to be a father some time soon with a woman you are ready to become a parent with.
I wont have another chance. That's what I didn't say in the thread, but... Just can't. Don't wanna talk about it to be honest. Because if I do this house will end up in the state it did last time. A year later it's still not totally fixed.

Going for a smoke now.
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Old 06-26-13, 11:49 PM   #4
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CottonRox
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Old 06-27-13, 02:28 PM   #5
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Old 06-27-13, 04:58 PM   #6
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Hi CR,

I'm sorry you lost the baby. If you don't mind my asking, why did you leave her?
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Old 06-28-13, 07:17 AM   #7
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Because it put a massive strain on the relationship. We blamed ourselves and took it out on each other all the time. I knew it just wouldn't work, so ultimately, I left.

Mitch.

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Old 06-24-14, 10:46 PM   #8
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I wont have another chance. That's what I didn't say in the thread, but... Just can't. Don't wanna talk about it to be honest. Because if I do this house will end up in the state it did last time. A year later it's still not totally fixed.

Going for a smoke now.
My condolences on your loss. As for not talking about it, understood. If you ever feel ready, then this is the place.
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