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This is a discussion on Randomness... within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I have never been on a site like this. To be honest, I have never be diagnosed with depression, or ...

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Old 09-29-12, 09:16 AM   #1
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I have never been on a site like this. To be honest, I have never be diagnosed with depression, or really even talked about it. I am in my late 20s. I am single. In 2011, we lost my father unexpectedly. Two weeks later, we lost my grandpa. It is has been hard, but even harder on my mom. I don't get along with my sisters anymore, and I wonder if it is because I am jealous that my father was there to walk them down the aisle. That is ridiculous, but such a huge bearing in my mind.

I became unexpectedly pregnant later that year. I lost the baby this year. I just keep wondering why all of this stuff is happening to me. I am a believer in God and I want to do good, but I feel like something is wrong with me. I was diagnosed with ADHD this year. I take Adderall, but I honestly don't know if that is the best thing for me. I used to be so full of life, but lately, I can't even get off the couch. I have no desire to do anything. I can't even keep a relationship with family and friends; so, finding a date is not only impossible but undesirable at this point... although, a family is something I truly want and thought I would have by now.

I can't sleep anymore because I have terrible nightmares; Usually, they are about my dad, but sometimes about random situations. I often have nightmares that I am abducted and shot. I have no idea what is going on with me; but just wish that it would go away. I have been up for hours, because I had a nightmare that I was boiling live goldfish. They were turning white and I kept trying to save them. I don't know what any of this means but I guess I wanted to vent...
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Old 09-29-12, 11:09 AM   #2
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Bless your heart! I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad and Grandpa. I would talk with my doctor about the Adderal. That could be the cause of your extreme tiredness and your not wanting to do anything, plus your inability to sleep and the nightmares. Sometimes we just do not react well to medications, and this medication could be causiing alot of your problems.

So talk with your doctor -- this could all be side effects of the Adderal. He will probably change your medication to something else. But make sure you call him as soon as possible so you don't have to suffer any more than you already have! It sounds awful!

Please take care and God bless. And again, I'm sorry for your losses. Hugs, Lee
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Old 09-30-12, 11:03 AM   #3
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Hey, I'm so sorry all that happened!

To your goldfish dream: I once had a dream where I was a serial killer sneaking in thru people's bedroom windows at night and killing them... doesn't mean we're killers or going to become that. :)

Adderall might be wearing off... you might need more, or a different drug. It should make you more active, and you are getting less active. Maybe that's the depression, but stimulants are also often used for depression. :)
But every lesson's a blessin, no stressin... ~Cherine Anderson

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. ~Ronald Reagan
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