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Is it possible to be grieving for somebody who isn't dead?

This is a discussion on Is it possible to be grieving for somebody who isn't dead? within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; How many more twists can I get in my soap opera life relating to Clayton? Earlier today, I went to ...

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Old 06-06-09, 06:22 PM   #41
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How many more twists can I get in my soap opera life relating to Clayton?

Earlier today, I went to check out books from the public library and I ran into another one of our mutual friends (I'll call him Tony). It turns out that we're both attending the same community college for different classes. He and Clayton were best friends and all three of us attend the same university (or in Clayton's case, attended). I met Tony at the same concert where I met Clayton. But I didn't really get to know Tony until this past year. He was very supportive of me after we learned about Clayton's breakdown. He was among the many people who helped me get over the sudden shock of what happened.

Anywho, Tony invited me back to his apartment for sandwiches and coffee. I agreed, since I hadn't seen him in over a month. It was very nice until Here Without You came on the radio. Again, for whatever reason, I was reminded of Clayton and got really miserable. Tony saw my discomfort and quickly changed the radio station and the course of the conversation. I felt really dumb for nearly breaking down and ruining a nice lunch.

When Tony dropped me off at the apartment after lunch, I apologized for what happened. He told me that I didn't do anything wrong. We hugged when we parted and for some reason, I kissed him. Not on the lips, on the cheek. When we parted, I felt really stupid for kissing him on the cheek. He didn't mention it, then again, he's too much of a gentleman.

But I'm still really confused. What the hell was I thinking? Why did I kiss him? And why did I feel really stupid for kissing Tony?
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Old 06-06-09, 08:35 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by boulevard-traveler View Post
What the hell was I thinking? Why did I kiss him? And why did I feel really stupid for kissing Tony?
hm. i don't know, I don't know, and i don't know. . . sorry, that's not helpful. does it help that someone is listening, at least?
i don't think u should be embarrassed for giving him a kiss on the cheek. maybe you feel weird because it's something u don't usually do? sometimes at church people give a hug & an "air kiss" hello, and every once in awhile it just gets awkward, like recently i gave someone a hug & meant to kind of pat this girl on the head, but my finger wound up poking her in the ear, LOL. what u described sounds like just one of those awkward things . . .
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Old 06-06-09, 09:26 PM   #43
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hm. i don't know, I don't know, and i don't know. . . sorry, that's not helpful. does it help that someone is listening, at least?
i don't think u should be embarrassed for giving him a kiss on the cheek. maybe you feel weird because it's something u don't usually do? sometimes at church people give a hug & an "air kiss" hello, and every once in awhile it just gets awkward, like recently i gave someone a hug & meant to kind of pat this girl on the head, but my finger wound up poking her in the ear, LOL. what u described sounds like just one of those awkward things . . .
it does help that somebody's listening. It was pretty awkward and this is the first time that I've kissed anybody on the cheek who wasn't a family member.
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