Is it possible to be grieving for somebody who isn't dead? - Page 3
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Life's Other Challenges > Grieving


Is it possible to be grieving for somebody who isn't dead?

This is a discussion on Is it possible to be grieving for somebody who isn't dead? within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Originally Posted by boulevard-traveler Over Christmas break, Clayton had a mental breakdown, landed in the hospital and was forced to ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-19-09, 11:36 PM   #21
TTL Gold Member
 
Blue Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,625
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by boulevard-traveler View Post
Over Christmas break, Clayton had a mental breakdown, landed in the hospital and was forced to drop out of university in order to take care of himself. I spoke to him on the phone a few days after I found out and I could tell that he wasn't the same man that I loved. He was so cold and distant.

When I learned about what happened, I made the decision to never contact him and move on. If he wanted me there at his side, I would drop everything and be with him. But he doesn't want me there. I haven't spoken to him since that day. I gave him my number, told him that if he ever needed anything, all he had to do was call me.
you know, Bt, I was thinking about this. if you only talked to him once right after he got into the hospital, and he seemed so differerent, maybe it was an effect of some of the meds he was just starting or something. i think you should give it another try and contact him again. even if he wanted to contact you awhile after things got a bit more normal, he might have felt odd calling you. i vote that u should go for it & call him, even if you're just "checking up" on him. he may be glad to hear from you. . .
__________________

Blue Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-09, 07:21 PM   #22
TTL Gold Member
 
boulevard-traveler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: defying gravity
Posts: 10,236
My Mood:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Girl View Post
you know, Bt, I was thinking about this. if you only talked to him once right after he got into the hospital, and he seemed so differerent, maybe it was an effect of some of the meds he was just starting or something. i think you should give it another try and contact him again. even if he wanted to contact you awhile after things got a bit more normal, he might have felt odd calling you. i vote that u should go for it & call him, even if you're just "checking up" on him. he may be glad to hear from you. . .
I've thought about calling him. But he hasn't contacted or talked to anybody else. I don't think he wants any more memories of University. I'm not going to risk it.
__________________
~All the days gone by to never show I loved you so
And I never knew anything at all~ "All the Wasted Time-Parade"
boulevard-traveler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-09, 11:19 PM   #23
TTL Gold Member
 
Blue Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,625
Default

ok, u know what u feel okay with, so i'll leave it at that
((((((((((hugs))))))))
__________________

Blue Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-09, 09:05 PM   #24
TTL Gold Member
 
boulevard-traveler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: defying gravity
Posts: 10,236
My Mood:
Default

Last night, I had a very lovely dream of Clayton. I don't remember what it was about, all I can remember is that it was very nice and I was so happy. When I woke up in the morning, I was a little unhappy that it was a dream. But my disappointment didn't last for very long and it was very mild. In the past few months, any dream of Clayton was enough to send me into tears when I woke up. But I think I'm slowly getting closure.
__________________
~All the days gone by to never show I loved you so
And I never knew anything at all~ "All the Wasted Time-Parade"
boulevard-traveler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-09, 02:49 PM   #25
TTL Gold Member
 
Blue Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,625
Default

good to hear ((((hugs))))
__________________

Blue Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-09, 12:24 PM   #26
TTL Gold Member
 
boulevard-traveler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: defying gravity
Posts: 10,236
My Mood:
Default

Why can't the past just leave me alone and let me get on with my life?

A couple of days ago, I went out to do some shopping and I ran into one of our mutual friends (I'll call him Jon). He just happened to be in town for the day. We agreed to go out and get some lunch together. During lunch, Jon told me about one of our friends that he was interested in dating. For some reason, all the memories of Clayton came back and not in a good way. It took every ounce of strength I had not to break down and cry infront of Jon. I held my tears in until I got back to the apartment. I hid myself in my room and broke down crying. Needless to say, I was in a really foul mood. It was so bad that my roommates worried they had done something wrong and that I was angry at them.

Now, I'm not blaming Jon. It wasn't his fault. I thought I was stronger than this. Just when I think that I'm getting over Clayton, something comes back to remind me of what I've lost. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm meant to suffer all my life.

Yes, I know I'm throwing a pity party, but I don't care.
__________________
~All the days gone by to never show I loved you so
And I never knew anything at all~ "All the Wasted Time-Parade"
boulevard-traveler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-09, 12:57 PM   #27
TTL Gold Member
 
Blue Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,625
Default

not a pity party, you're hurting. .
i'm sorry, BT
(((((((((hugs))))))))))
__________________

Blue Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-09, 01:43 PM   #28
TTL Gold Member
 
boulevard-traveler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: defying gravity
Posts: 10,236
My Mood:
Default

Am I running from what happened? Is that why the memories got really bad? I've tried running from my past before and that did me no good.
__________________
~All the days gone by to never show I loved you so
And I never knew anything at all~ "All the Wasted Time-Parade"
boulevard-traveler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-09, 04:46 PM   #29
TTL Gold Member
 
Blue Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,625
Default

what do u mean, running from what happened? i don't understand
__________________

Blue Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-09, 02:36 PM   #30
TTL Gold Member
 
boulevard-traveler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: defying gravity
Posts: 10,236
My Mood:
Default

Sorry, BG I should've explained better.

I've been trying to find other things to do to keep my mind off Clayton. Would that be considered running? I had some really rotten things happen to me when I was younger and I basically blocked the events from my mind. I knew something bad had happened, but I didn't know what it was. One day, something happened and for some reason, all the memories came flooding back. I think that was a root cause of my depression. I was running from my past, that's why I think everything came back with full force.
__________________
~All the days gone by to never show I loved you so
And I never knew anything at all~ "All the Wasted Time-Parade"

Last edited by boulevard-traveler; 06-01-09 at 02:38 PM.
boulevard-traveler is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:50 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2