My son and his cancer
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My son and his cancer

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Old 04-08-11, 10:21 AM   #1
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Hey guys,

For as long as I can remember, I've been a creative person. Right now I work in the design field, and usually love it. I have 2 children. 1 boy (3 years), and 1 girl (1 year) whom I love unconditionally.

Last October my wife and I had received the news that our son has Leukemia. A devastating blow for our little family to say the least. He's doing great. Making it through the treatments as best as one could handle (especially at his age). For that I am happy.

Ever since his diagnosis however, I feel an emptiness that I've never felt before. I have lost all desire to do pretty much anything. Including the design work I'm relied on for income. I've had mood swings that are unlike my character, and ignore my basic requirements around the house. No thoughts of death or suicide. I'm just worried that my lack of passion and energy is leading to a wall in my professional life as well as my family life.

It's been mentioned that I may just be grieving because of his health. That may be the case. What do you guys think?

Thanks everyone. Cheers.
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Old 04-08-11, 10:37 AM   #2
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First of all, I'm sorry to hear your story. I'm not a parent myself so I can't really imagine how heart destroying news like that must feel. I don't really have any experience in this but a post like this always makes you want to reply y'know.
I personally think it would be a good idea to look up other parents in the same predicament as you, wether locally or through the net. It seems to me like you are grieving for something that may not happen and I really think other parents could help you out. Kids need stability, they need to see daddy going to work and they need to see that you are coping.
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Old 04-08-11, 10:56 AM   #3
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Its always hard to accept that our children can be subject to serious illness as we feel we want to protect them from everything bad in the world and when something like this comes along it makes us feel hopeless that we cant protect them from it - so i would say this is a big factor in your feelings.

I am pleased to hear your son is making good headway with the leukaemia and i hope it continues.

You need to be able to talk to someone about how you feel - is there someone you could see that is associated with the hospital. Are you able to talk to your wife about your feelings?

When a child is suffering - it is so hard to watch - I know because i lost my first child.......

I hope you can get back the passions you used to have and that things will resolve themselves - do take care of yourself and your family ((((hugs))))
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Old 04-08-11, 12:05 PM   #4
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Hey there Ok. I am so sorry to hear about you son. And it is great that he is responding so well with the treatments.

The other posters have already stated what I was going to say. Is there someone that you could talk to about how your feeling? And parents that are in similar situations as yourself is a good idea to think about.

I don't know what really else to say other than that we are here for you if you need to talk.
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Old 04-08-11, 03:45 PM   #5
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Sorry about the worry over your son's illness.

I'm glad that the little lad is responding to treatment.

I hope that his good progress continues.

As for your own mood swings and apathy, I guess that it is to be expected considering the mental trauma that you must have gone through since your son's diagnosis. I too have had this unwelcome addition to my character, which was finally diagnosed as Depression.

Just "Don't quit", that's my motto...and the title of my Journal, even though at times you may feel like giving up.
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Old 04-08-11, 06:54 PM   #6
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Oh OkSky .... my heart breaks for you and your family .... I watched my wonderful older sister battle breast cancer and it was beyond agonizing .... to have to watch your brave and darling son at the age of 3 battle such a mean disease must be so very difficult .... I am so glad to know he is responding but for you as a Dad to watch and worry and pray must be all consuming and exhausting! I agree with the others that it would be a great idea to find a parent group of others who have been or are now in the process of going thru a similar experience. The feeling of emptiness you describe often is a symptom of clinical depression, so perhaps if you could talk to your doctor and if deemed helpful a referal to a counsellor may help and/or medication for depression. In such highly emotional situations I often found it helpful to get some time alone and go for really long walks with comforting music on my headset, try to pick a picturesque area to both restore your battery and perhaps renew your faith in things! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers! And may a day come when the word cancer is no longer in use!!!!!!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((OkSky)))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Old 04-11-11, 04:21 PM   #7
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Holy smokes!

Such a wonderful response from a wonderful community.

I think I may need to reinterpret something. I'm am there 100% for my boy, and my wife, and whoever else is affected by this. Both on an emotional and physical level. I think my problem is; While the strong is strong, who's there to be strong for the strong?

Sure there are people to talk to at Sick Kids. I think I'll be getting a hold of the social worker the next time I'm there. Just to see what options I have. Maybe talking to someone neutral will help.

I'm not the biggest fan of taking meds however. So I've gone to a nutritionist to see if supplements can help out. She came up with a nice mix of vitamins and minerals I can take to boost my mood. Started that program today. Will update on this board as to how it works out.

Thank you all for being so supportive. Just being able to get those feelings off my chest did a whole world of wonders.

Just got back from a 4 day stay of treatments BTW. My boy is up over 30lbs again. Things are really looking good :)
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Old 04-13-11, 12:10 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by OkSky View Post
Holy smokes!

Such a wonderful response from a wonderful community.

I think I may need to reinterpret something. I'm am there 100% for my boy, and my wife, and whoever else is affected by this. Both on an emotional and physical level. I think my problem is; While the strong is strong, who's there to be strong for the strong?

Sure there are people to talk to at Sick Kids. I think I'll be getting a hold of the social worker the next time I'm there. Just to see what options I have. Maybe talking to someone neutral will help.

I'm not the biggest fan of taking meds however. So I've gone to a nutritionist to see if supplements can help out. She came up with a nice mix of vitamins and minerals I can take to boost my mood. Started that program today. Will update on this board as to how it works out.

Thank you all for being so supportive. Just being able to get those feelings off my chest did a whole world of wonders.

Just got back from a 4 day stay of treatments BTW. My boy is up over 30lbs again. Things are really looking good :)
I'm so sorry you are going through this, however it is great news that thing are really looking good for him. I cannot imagine your struggle, it must be so hard. Of course you will feel like you want to do nothing, because everything is wrapped around his health and trying to help him and the family. It sounds to me you are doing everything you can possibly do to and being the strength of the family.

Who helps the strong (or the weak)? Well, I know this isn't the faith thread, but for me, its God. For you, I'm not sure, but being able to talk about it, yes does wonders. Maybe even keep a journal, just to write in? Just an idea. It's good you are sharing on this thread, I hope to hear more good news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little boy and family.
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