My nanna
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My nanna

This is a discussion on My nanna within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; She died today, was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago, and it had spread, so it wasnt totally unexpected, ...

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Old 04-29-10, 12:03 PM   #1
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She died today, was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago, and it had spread, so it wasnt totally unexpected, but it still seems sudden given that doctors were talking about it being months, turned out it was only 2 weeks. I live away from her so i was preparing to go and visit her at the end of the month, I thought there was enough time to do that. Turns out, there wasn't, so i didnt even get a chance to say goodbye.

Strangely though, I don't feel sad, I feel....relieved. I havent cried, it shocks me that i dont really feel anything. I mean we weren't really close or anything but still she was family....it just seems like nothing can get an emotional reaction out of me. I just feel guilty for not feeling bad....or rather for not feeling anything at all
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Old 04-29-10, 04:48 PM   #2
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I know what you mean, cancer claimed my grandma at the first of the year. I didn't have a chance to say bye either, but I think she knows... Sorry touchy for me right now. Time heals, I hope you can keep the fond memories of her in your head. Sometimes it takes time for even greiving to hit us. I was thirteen when I watched my dad die, I didn't cry until I saw him in the casket. I was pretty fucked up and shook already cause it was right after I watched my grandpa drown in his own blood. Just take time, and don't beat yourself up for it
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Old 04-29-10, 06:31 PM   #3
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Thank you for your kind words, im trying not to beat myself up too much about it but it worries me that i have no emotion about it. Im beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with me, i mean its not just this its everything that should provoke an emotional response in people just leaves me feeling nothing
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Old 04-29-10, 10:39 PM   #4
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It happens. Sometimes we don't even register how they're gone and we truly miss them until later, after the shock wears off. I've lost many people, trust me you'll get to grieve properly. Good luck
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