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My best friend died

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Old 02-03-18, 07:18 PM   #11
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My mom took it really hard when my grandmother died last December. My grandmother lived a long life, died at 87. But my mom said that even if they live to be 100, it's still too soon. Now she's doing a lot better though.
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Old 02-05-18, 10:37 AM   #12
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My friend died at 36. He had an auto-immune disorder as well as liver and pancreatic damage from drinking, although he hadn't had a drink in several months. He died of a hemorrhage, but the coroner declared his death to be from alcoholism.

Every day I see elderly and/or decrepit people and I think, why? Why do they get to live and my friend had to die? I can't help thinking this.
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Old 02-05-18, 07:05 PM   #13
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I'm really sorry you have to go through this.
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Old 02-06-18, 07:06 PM   #14
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A counsellor FINALLY explained to me the way I am feeling. She said I'm in such trauma over this, specifically because of the circumstances (us being so close we were like twins, him being so young, and his death being unexpected because he was not considered terminally ill) that I haven't been able to process the grief in the normal manner.
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Old 02-06-18, 07:07 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by SensualGirl View Post
I'm really sorry you have to go through this.

Thanks I really appreciate your responses.
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Old 02-06-18, 07:07 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SensualGirl View Post
My mom took it really hard when my grandmother died last December. My grandmother lived a long life, died at 87. But my mom said that even if they live to be 100, it's still too soon. Now she's doing a lot better though.
Glad she is doing better
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Old 02-07-18, 08:02 PM   #17
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Had a talk with my doctor today and told her about the coroner's verdict. She said that liver damage is extremely common in people with severe sarcoidosis, and she thinks the coroner may have just seen the hemorrhage and the external condition of the liver, and concluded alcoholism without doing any further tests that would have revealed if the cirrhosis was solely from alcohol or from sarcoidosis (basically dissecting the liver and examining it under a microscope). She looked up an academic study on her computer showing that 70% of sarcoidosis patients have liver damage (and pointed out that this study included mild cases, unlike my friend who had a very severe case with granulomas around his heart and lungs).

So I am spreading the word and feel like at least everyone will have a more accurate picture of the possible causes of his death. It didn't sit right with me to just blame his death on alcoholism when I've seen alcoholics in their 50s and 60s still walking around after years of chronic abuse. Also it just didn't seem likely to me that his death was totally unrelated to his severe illness.
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Old 02-07-18, 08:43 PM   #18
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Your friend went through things. I'm sorry.
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Old 02-08-18, 09:20 AM   #19
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Quote:
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Your friend went through things. I'm sorry.
He sure did. This isn't half of it. I hope and pray he is in a better place and I'm trying to make peace with his death now. I'm still angry but trying to let it go.
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Old 02-08-18, 01:39 PM   #20
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@floating..we all know your true friend went away too young..and this leaves often a trauma in us when we lose closed ones like this in that way..therapy helps you of course...but it's only a plaster on a wound noboby can heal..not even a therapist...this is a personal issue...i do not know too much about the condition sarcoidosis...but i know about alcoholism since my dad was an alchoholic who went to tremens delirum etc...he died at age 76 without a liver diagnosis at all..since he smoked heavily he died of lung cancer..your friend did not die at all about the condition alcoholism..it was another mishap on medical diagnosis,prognosis etc..? i don't know?nobody can tell..we want you to be at peace with yourself and be able to say to yourself==i honour my friend==pity he died too soon,but if death comes around and takes away people unexpectedly...what can we do exept from grief and despair?we honour the person he was in life and just feel that force within yourself..so come on..he's not gone..he lives further in your mind and soul...we all love your honesty here to express your true feelings..not so easy,you know...take care...and keep posting...greetings and support from all of us on TTL..take care...
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Last edited by tigerlover; 02-08-18 at 01:44 PM.
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