Mother in chains
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Mother in chains

This is a discussion on Mother in chains within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I miss your smile. I miss the moment you showed your teeth before you laughed. I miss being innocent to ...

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Old 04-27-20, 09:48 PM   #1
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I miss your smile.
I miss the moment you showed your teeth before you laughed.
I miss being innocent to the paranoia and addiction.
I miss feeling your hand on mine and not worrying when the pressure had gone away because after all, you were just at work.
I miss the minutes of not knowing my life would end up this way.

I do not miss begging you to stop smoking (cigarettes, marijuana) and you struggling to come up with a reason not to.
I do not miss trying to convice you that you deserved someone better than a man who abused you.
I do not miss chasing them in the middle of the night, afraid that they'd leave me if I didn't.
I do not miss feeling as if you loved him more than you loved me.

You aren't gone, so I guess I'm grieving not just the loss of a mother, but for the collaspment of my childhood too.
I miss you so much, Mama. And despite the things I don't miss, I know I would take everything the way it was before this, if it meant I wouldn't have to greive you.
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Old 04-29-20, 01:42 PM   #2
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my mother never wanted to be a part of my life and I think about how difficult it is every day

so sorry for your loss
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Old 04-29-20, 10:23 PM   #3
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Ayesha, for our sake, I wish the world was fair. Hell, for everyone's sake I do.
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Old 04-30-20, 06:17 PM   #4
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To AllButGone
What you wrote broke my heart to read. You should send that to your mother, she deserves to know your thoughts.
To you & Ayesha23; I'm sorry you were shortchanged in your childhood. Nothing can fix that, but I will bet that both of you are far better people than your mothers and many other people walking around. All the good that is in you comes from YOU.
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Old 05-05-20, 08:25 PM   #5
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AllButGone ~ What you wrote was, not only heartbreaking to read, but was difficult knowing how much you're hurting inside. I agree with Banshee regarding sending your mother a copy of this. I never knew or got to met my mother. I was informed she passed away at 59 year's of age. That's young. I pray that you & mother can work thing's out. Life is short enough as it is. She needs to understand how you feel, why & hopefully you can (both) work on "mending the fences" as they say. In the meanwhile, we're always here for you.
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