My mother, 58, finally lost the battle with cancer and the "treatments" this Monday. She leaves not only me, her youngest son, but my older brother and eldest sister.
I've been with my mom since day one of all this (one year ago). I was there by her side when she got the diagnosis. I was there by her side when she received her first treatment. And I was there when she took her last breath, which will haunt me til my end. I've been by my mom's side since birth and I've been the one to look after her during all of this, during her divorce, all her ups and downs, with no regrets other than I shouldn't have let her take the treatments because that's what I think she succumbed to, not the cancer.
They've only been "there" when they needed something. They took and took and took from her over the past five years, that she was left with nothing before she was even diagnosed. And even after that, they still took from her. Their debts to her, amount to over ten thousand dollars each. Her inheritance she received from her mother-in-law, gone, to each of them from "borrowing" over the years, never paying back a single cent.
Neither my brother nor sister took responsibility as her children, to care for her, even before the cancer. Whereas I, worked my fingers to the knuckle to try and provide a home for us, as she couldn't work. It was up to me to provide groceries and I even had to cover some of her prescriptions, all on a minimum wage job that nearly put my health at severe risk too. We barely got by but I managed it; I had to.
She spent many a days in the hospital from side effects, catching a virus and up to this last visit which was over a month before going home, I was the one who stayed with her, day and night. My brother and sister didn't bother at all. When I would finish work (a job that I lost because of this hardship), I stopped at home to change and headed to the hospital to be with my mom till bed time, every day she was in there. Where were they? Not at work, neither of them worked. So where were they? My sister was most likely unconscious from popping so many pills and my brother was freeloading at my place, passed out on the couch or playing video games, devouring my pantry and leaving a trail of filth throughout our home. Not once did they consider "I should go spend the day with mom, give brother a day to relax".
I regret none of this. I loved my mom. I asked for the least, but the sacrifices she made for all three of us growing up, it was owed to her that we all be there for her. It's just sad that my siblings do not feel the same. All they have done is take and take and take from her over the past decade (or more). Each of them made twice the money I did yet they never had a cent to their name. They'd always be "borrowing" from my mom. Over the years, she's provided to each of them a vehicle and too often fill their cupboards. She bailed them out of many debts and collections. Her inheritance from her mother-in-law? Gone. Gobbled up by my brother and sister, my mother denied of her dream to have used it as a down payment on a house we could call "ours" (as we've always rented, never owning). I never asked for anything but she was always there for me as I was for her. If I did borrow, I paid back. That's why she never kept record of mine in her book whereas she did with my siblings which shows they are in debt to her of over ten thousand dollars each to this day.
We had in plan, for a Will to be made in her last couple months of life. But my grandparents stepped in and decided to take control of things and put a stop to that. (I don't know their reasons). So there is no legal documents that show what my mom would like to pass on, nothing other than a hand-written note that she entrusted to me. A note that I must find among her things that are scattered about because we moved not long before all this came to light.
It's been only two days since her passing and already I've been asked about certain belongings and jewelry. Two days and they've already shown their true form of being vultures.
I made it very clear that nothing leaves this house, unless it is something she has marked on that paper or voiced to me and that until I find it, nothing leaves. From the beginning of all of this, and the nurses can account for her words, she requested that I be in control of everything. I was to be the decision maker should she be incapacitated. I was to be the power-of-attorney, executor, whatever was necessary to see her wished fulfilled in the end. But it was taken away, not of her choice.
So now I lay in bed restless, wondering what they will do. There being no Will means everything and anything is up for grabs. They could literally rob me of everything that is hers, that is ours.
Anything that goes to my sister, I know from her history, will be pawned and sold. Of course, if it was my mom's wish for her to have it, then it is my sisters choice to do as she pleases. As would be the same for my brother. My sister knows she has crossed the line with all the family one too many times, I do not worry so much about her being sly. She knows I won't fall down easily. My brother though, is requesting certain things; Things that I know were not expressed in my mother's "note", such as her bed and dressers. He is in belief that she wanted him to have that bed but in reality, him and his (ex)girlfriend were to buy that bed from her as she disliked it at first so they were going to make a deal on it, and she would buy another.
So I fear the coming storm that they will bring to our home. I am exhausted and drained from having to bare all of this on my own for so long, I'm at a loss as to what I should do? What are my options?