I've been obsessed these past few weeks compiling a massive project - a memory album honouring the lives of my beloved parents. It's consumed me.
Funny thing is, I took a break tonight ... and yep, there was the grief. Boy, is the human mind ever tricky! Keeping me distracted on the project and not feeling the grief. It kind of makes me want to laff - how something therapeutic can also be an avoidance strategy!
But. I'm still going to complete it. It's been a full mind and soul immersion into the awesomeness that my parents were in this world. All their kindness, their generosity, how much they loved their kids, how freakin hard they worked in their working class lives, how wise they were to live with such beautiful simplicity in life. Seriously. They weren't into big fancy vacations to Hawaii or the Mediterranean - they were happy to visit their kids and go out for a burger with them!
I said to my sister during a sad phase yesterday - their whole lives have been reduced to a little box. All their work and accumulation of a life time now fits in a plastic storage box, and it made me so damn sad to think that this is all it boils down to.
But my sister said, Our parents are more
than a box. And she's so right. They instilled values and morals and good living techniques in their kids. I attribute a lot of the success I enjoy now in my work to what my parents gave me. Yeah I ran with it - but they cultivated it in the first place.
I never knew being alive could hurt this much. It's subsided somewhat, but flares up now and then.
I'll keep plugging along, enjoy the process of compiling the memory album. Then one day I can share it with my nephews and nieces so they know more about their family story and the wonderful grandparents they had.