Lost my first son
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Lost my first son

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Old 05-15-10, 11:58 PM   #1
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Unhappy Lost my first son

Things are really hard for me. I met a man in 2006 named Michael, 3 months later got pregnant for the first time. Michael was in love with me but I wasnt. He was there for me thru it all, even proposed and i said no. After Phoenix was born everything was so great I fell in love with voth of them and everything was perfect until june 2007 when at 3 and a half months old Phoenix never wakes up:( I found him cold and blue. No reasoning behind it sids. After that my world crumbled. I lost friends and family and of course Michael. He sometimes blames me for phoenixs death cuz i was who found him he had left that morning. he continued to play with my emotions and continued sleeping with me but hes not in love just loves me says losing phoenix made him feel different. He doesnt know how to love like that. Im still in love and badlyhurt. I came up pregnant again in 2009 had skyler dec 2009, he had no part with my oregnancy wasnt even there wheni had skyler came up once. saw him a few ti mes after he was born not too involved with skylers life. last weekend i asked michael to watch him he never answered so i asked a friend whos been around helping me with skyler cuz i had to work, well after work he had something on his lip i took him to childrens and he was burned!! they gave temporary custody to michael cuz my friend blaming this on me and im over here helping michael but hell sleep with me but wont be with me and im on his bed right now he wont cuddle nothing and im so hurt i want us to be a family i dont knnow im so depressed sometimes i dont wanna wake up i need him but i dont thi nk you can fall in love again or can u??
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Old 05-16-10, 12:49 AM   #2
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Welcome to TTL, skylersmom

So sorry for your loss, sids is so well known yet still they dont have any proven reasons why it happens. No one is to blame for this.

Dont give up on getting skyler back.
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Old 05-16-10, 05:25 AM   #3
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Just don't have the words to do this post justice.

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this.

My thoughts are with you.

Be safe
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Old 05-17-10, 11:59 AM   #4
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My condolences for the loss of your first son, my dear, and my sympathy to Michael. Have either of you sought bereavement counselling? Poor Skyler though too, how old is he now? He must be feeling confused, do you get to see him?
Again my sympathies and if I could I would give you a rose as the scent is like a hug in a bottle.
Tessa
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Old 05-17-10, 03:46 PM   #5
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It sounds like your chasing something you can't ever have again, michael. I'm sorry for your losses, be strong for Skyler, he needs you to be there as much as you possibly can.
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I never met you and yet I know you,
at least I know much about you.
I know you need food, shelter
and things to do to keep you sane.
And I know that especially, you need someone . . .

I can't say that I am that someone,
but I am someone . . .
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