Lost ... hard to help
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Lost ... hard to help

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Old 06-20-11, 09:20 PM   #1
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Default Lost ... hard to help

I'm not sure where to put this, but I am grieving today.

A friend of ours (older) had a brother who went missing on Wednesday. He was suffering from dementia and Alzheimers. They found his car, and put out a silver alert.

Sadly, they found a body Saturday evening in a ditch, and he was identified today as my friend's brother. There is no word on how he died - whether it was suicide or an accident.

They have been through so much the last few days as they took this roller coaster ride and now are grieving this huge loss. The problem is, even though I don't know the brother, I do know them, and I hurt for/with them.

Not much to say, I know, but somehow I just had to write out my pain for them ... because those who love them hurt too.
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Old 06-20-11, 11:30 PM   #2
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Sorry your friends are going through so much.
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Old 06-21-11, 08:06 AM   #3
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Thanks Too Much.

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Old 06-21-11, 04:38 PM   #4
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Are you familiar with the "textbook" method of grief? Maybe it will help you and help you help them.

7 STAGES OF GRIEF

I'm sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.
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I never met you and yet I know you,
at least I know much about you.
I know you need food, shelter
and things to do to keep you sane.
And I know that especially, you need someone . . .

I can't say that I am that someone,
but I am someone . . .
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Old 06-21-11, 05:43 PM   #5
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Thank you Bird Lady (Crazy though we all are),

Yes, I am familiar with the stages of grief. I did discover this afternoon that it was a suicide ... sigh. So I guess I could have posted under "lost to suicide."

The dementia factor just makes it harder ... I guess there is just no answer to the "why." I think it is especially hard for me because I lost my Mom to End Stage Dementia last year ... and I know how confused she was at the end. I think that is part of what is triggering my own sadness ... anniversaries are hard, and it's just a year since her funeral.
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Old 06-21-11, 05:49 PM   #6
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I'm so sorry for you.

I often wonder how I will react to my own mothers passing, I think I would lose my grip on reality.

My thoughts, again, are with you and the family. I hope you can find away to reason through this.
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I never met you and yet I know you,
at least I know much about you.
I know you need food, shelter
and things to do to keep you sane.
And I know that especially, you need someone . . .

I can't say that I am that someone,
but I am someone . . .
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