Hello I am new to this. I am retired male 68 years old. In AA for 30 years.
I have had a series of losses the past year . Each one has affected my purposes and use on my time .
Last winter my mother in law with dementia. My wife and I visited her once a week which took a whole day.
Spring My older sister. We were in touch all the time by phone e mail etc. She had cancer for 4 years and finally went . I did not travel out for her funeral as I had travelled to see har a short while back as they thought she was dieing then. I regret not spending the money and time to go to the funeral and I think I have supressed grief .
Spring . Had my knee go due to golf. Had to give up my golf and friends .. one or two days per week
Summer My long time AA sponsor and best friend (like a brotherdied) Had ALS . I visited once per month then once every two weeks as it progressed. He got lucky and died before the worst phase of ALS .
Close friend had daughter killed / drunk. She was a good friend of my 16 year old grand daughter. Just sad
All of a sudden I had what has been diagnosed as depression. Loss of interest in things, loss of weight, fear of ageing I guess and fear of medical proceedures and loss of activity.
So i have been useing cognative thinking and I am on an anti depressant drug. Both have helped and it takes the edge off but the negative thoughts and fears keep comming back . (although not as severe as before.
Would love to hear your thoughts