losing loved ones too soon. :'(
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losing loved ones too soon. :'(

This is a discussion on losing loved ones too soon. :'( within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Im 19 years old. About 4 months ago I lost my father. A message was sent to my mother on ...

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Old 10-02-14, 08:29 AM   #1
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Default losing loved ones too soon. :'(

Im 19 years old. About 4 months ago I lost my father. A message was sent to my mother on facebook from his friend saying he had terrible news for us. We quickly contacted my grandparents trying to figure out what was going on. They told us that my dad had passed. I felt like somebody tore my heart out and ripped it to shreds. I felt so lost and alone. As the days went by I slowly got back to my normal routine without hysterically crying every other minute. Exactly two weeks later I found out that my bestfriend/ first boy I have ever loved had been killed in a car crash. I was right back at square one. Hurt, lost, lonely, confused, etc. The days go by and the pain never goes away. Something so little can remind me of them. Sep 26 was my dads 37th birthday. So busy with other things I wrote a sweet message on his facebook wall. Now that ive had time to settle down and just think im completely and utterlty broken. I have cried all day and night, I haven't slept, I haven't ate, ive barely drank anything. I feel as if it just happened yesterday. I keep listening to sad songs that remind me of them, (See You When I See You, Im Already There.) And just cry, and cry, and cry. My bestfriend has sat with me all night just listening to me cry, not saying a word. Lors knows I am more than grateful for that but she doesnt know what its like. I just feel so alone in this time of pain.
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Old 10-02-14, 02:30 PM   #2
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I am sorry to hear about all of this. My condolences. One big for you.

I lost my ex girlfriend (who was my best friend) like 6 months ago, it hurted, i was so devastated and suicidal. That pain that you feel can go away, but will never completely vanish. I got used to it, i said goodbye to her by burning letter on her grave, and i learned to cherish those memories that i had with her. Whenever a memory about her pops up in my mind, i try to think this way: " Man, we really had a lot of fun together" instead of "I will never see her again". Eventually i got used to thinking that way, i am sure you will too. Of course that pain from time to time shows up again. And please try to force yourself to eat and drink, you dont want to harm your health much. I know i couldnt eat when it happened, and hiding all of this from my parents also was hard, but i succeeded, but i am talking too much now.

I hope i helped a bit. I am sure you are not alone. Stay safe. Best wishes.
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Old 10-02-14, 04:13 PM   #3
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Thanks! Like my bestfriend that died we have been bestfriends since 6th grade and I would never date him because I didnt want to mess up our friend ship. Well he ended up moving out of state and thats when I realized, man I really love this boy, hes the one for me. And me being a stubborn female I never ever told him how I really felt. And I carry that burden every single day.
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Old 10-02-14, 04:46 PM   #4
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Well, there is no place in our lives for regrets, there is always reason why past is past. If you still havent found your special someone, i am quite sure you will find it, it just takes time.
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Old 10-02-14, 07:04 PM   #5
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I'm sorry for your loss. I can't tell you that the pain ever goes away......I lost my younger sister, in 2006, and I still break down and cry over it because I miss her and felt it wasn't her time to go. Sure, the pain has eased a bit over the years, but I still miss her from time to time. I've even been angry over her death and the way she had suffered. Take care.
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Old 10-10-14, 07:58 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nsdimitrije View Post
Well, there is no place in our lives for regrets, there is always reason why past is past. If you still havent found your special someone, i am quite sure you will find it, it just takes time.
Exactly­.

Destiny, you`re not alone. We`ve all lost people who are close to us and yes, it really hurts when that happens. Been through it myself and the feelings you described are bang on. Nsdimitrije gave excellent advice. Whatever you do, hang on. Reach out to your friends and family and above all, if you feel overwhelmed, get help.

My condolences on your losses and I`m sending a big hug your way.
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