Just found out my father is dying
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Just found out my father is dying

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Old 03-27-12, 03:26 PM   #1
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Default Just found out my father is dying

The doctor said it may not be a day or a week, but probably not much beyond that. He's suffered for years, but that doesn't make it any easier. I don't know how well I will be able to handle this.
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Old 03-27-12, 03:35 PM   #2
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The doctor said it may not be a day or a week, but probably not much beyond that. He's suffered for years, but that doesn't make it any easier. I don't know how well I will be able to handle this.

Oh Dadof3,I'm so sorry! I know you have talked about his state of health before. I know knowing that doesn't make it easier,Dadof3. No matter how old or ill our loved ones are,we don't want them to go and we still feel that hurt.
I'm sorry... We will be here for you through it all...
Are you able to visit him at all?
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Old 03-27-12, 03:41 PM   #3
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I'm sorry to hear this and I hope things will be alright, no matter what the outcome is. I'm scared how it might feel to lose someone close. The only death that I've had to deal with were a couple pets and my great grandmother. Those were difficult, and I can't imagine losing someone as close as my Mom. I get scared sometimes because she's had so many surgeries and although she seems healthy, I'm worried that they've taken a toll on her.

I hope you can find some comfort in some people during these difficult times.
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Old 03-27-12, 04:24 PM   #4
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Thank you both.

Yes- I am able to see him. And I'll be able to get the kids down to see him too. He knows the end is coming and he told my sister today that he doesn't want us to grieve. He said he is ready to go. He's tired. And he wants to see my late brother again.

I'm just not ready for it to be done yet.
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Old 03-27-12, 04:48 PM   #5
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I am sorry.
Only two things in this life are totally certain....change and death.
Whilst we can't stop death occuring we can change.
Tell him you love him, remember his love for you, you are a dad and so is he, we need to hear it.
Stay strong and remember there is no greater gift than a parents love for their child.
I will keep you in mind at this difficult time and hope that your sadness is balanced by your love for your father.
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Old 03-27-12, 05:06 PM   #6
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Thank you both.
Yes- I am able to see him. And I'll be able to get the kids down to see him too. He knows the end is coming and he told my sister today that he doesn't want us to grieve. He said he is ready to go. He's tired. And he wants to see my late brother again.
I'm just not ready for it to be done yet.

We are never ready for it,Dad of 3... Don't try too hard to be brave and pretend not to hurt. Go through it and don't bottle up too much,just try to make some loving memories-talk to him,everyone can get together and tell him some nice/funny things they remember about him,e.t.c.
I would like you to know that I am here and so are others too for those times you feel quite low-showing weakness isn't weak...
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Old 03-27-12, 06:10 PM   #7
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Dad of 3 - I'm truly sorry to hear this news. I'm sure that it's understandable how you're feeling. Nobody's truly "willing" to let go of the people we love or care about. Spend the time with him as much as possible. It's so admirable of him, that he doesn't want anybody to grieve. What a truly wonderful man. I hope, that you're able to spend all the time you need with him. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Old 03-27-12, 07:06 PM   #8
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Thank you all so much for the kind words. From the latest I have, it sounds like more than a week, but probably less than a month. My dad is one of those tough old buzzards, so I don't know. Our goal is to make him as comfortable as we can for now.

Again- thank you all so much. It is nice to know people care!
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Old 03-27-12, 07:37 PM   #9
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No matter how or when, it's always hard to say goodbye to a loved one, especially a parent. Lost my own Dad suddenly over 20 years ago, and seldom a day passes I don't think of or refer to him in some form.
Hope you find strength to endure the next few days and weeks, and hope you find some comfort in the knowledge that he's accepted his lot.
I hope I have as much integrity and bravery when my time comes.
Your Father sounds like a noble character, strength to you Dadof3.
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Old 03-27-12, 10:43 PM   #10
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Im ao sorry to hear about that. But i know how you feel when it comes to loosing people close to you. What i found helps me the best is just accepting it and giving yourself time to grieve for a little while then get your barrings and prepare for whatever else is going to happen. I am not trying to make anything worse, but this was the case with a few of my friends and i just accepted it. Let the pain out, and moved on. The past can haunt you, but you can move on. Because when it's over, it is deffinitely not going to reoccur later. Especially since this stuff can only happen once. yet again, im sorry to hear about this. Take care of yourself man :(
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