How Do You Go On?
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How Do You Go On?

This is a discussion on How Do You Go On? within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Since 2005, I've lost several people who were my little support team. They were all full of life, wanting to ...

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Old 11-26-11, 06:06 PM   #1
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Default How Do You Go On?

Since 2005, I've lost several people who were my little support team. They were all full of life, wanting to live, and they had their lives taken from them by a variety of means. I've always been depression prone, but since this period of time, it's worsened. This year has been horrible alone, there's not been much of a reprieve between episodes. I'm passed the point of the s-word of which we will not speak, but the going through the motions and putting on a happy front just to muddle through is something I just don't care to continue doing. Life seems pointless. You struggle to get ahead, you struggle through trying to build some sort of life, facing countless hurdles, only to lose the people you need most.

When you lose people, people you love, people who supported you (especially when most people just walk away from you without a care), how do you get past it? They wanted to keep living, me - I don't care from one day to the next anymore. I try, I try to look to the future, make plans...but it all seems so...pointless.

I feel like why should I have the opportunity to continue, when they don't? I feel like how can I be happy when I've lost them? I feel like what's the point of life, when it can just be taken from you without a second thought, especially when that life has been full of suffering? Are we living just to die?

I feel sad, guilty, lost...The Christmas Carols at work are really getting to me too. My friends walk away from me, my family is mostly gone or too self absorbed to care, my precious kitty cat is sick a lot...I can count on the people left who care on one hand. Most times, on one finger.

Some how, my question about getting past the grief meandered into a whine about the crappiness of life. Sorry about that. But it helped to get it off my chest.

to everyone whose lost someone they loved and the hope for a less bitter more sweet season and a better new year.
I'm still trying to learn to dance in the rain...
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Old 11-27-11, 12:04 AM   #2
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I lost both of my nana's a few years ago. These 2 women were probably the most influential women in my life. Infact my ex-boyfriend (the most important man in my adult life btw) told me I wasn't like my mom or my dad but that I took the best from both of my nana's.

What I realized is even though they're gone. I feel everyday there here with me, they made me who I am.

I've also been thinking of celebrating their birthday's in my own way. My one nana loved silver jewellery so I've been thinking every year on her birthday buying a piece of silver jewellery. My other nana loved tea and pretty china cups. I've been thinking of buying a new cup every year on her birthday. Just away to remember them by. IDK, I haven't started yet but that's what I want to do. A way to remember and celebrate them and keep them in my life.

I also lost my cat which hurts like hell. He was the love of my life.

One day, I went to a Psychic and she told me one of my nana's and my cat were in heaven watching over me and helping me. This made me so happy inside, it made me feel good that they were there for me. My psychic told me so much about my cat too, it was amazing she had him pegged. I miss them both.

I remember the good they brought into my life and try to hold on to that. I don't have much good in my life. My happiest times was with this nana, in my whole entire life and then there's my cat. I swear he's the only thing that ever loved me in this world. We loved each other. That's it. You cannot believe how much love we had for each other.

Try to remember the good that these people brought too you and move on with that. Take Care.
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Old 11-29-11, 02:25 PM   #3
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I lost my younger brother a couple years back (he was 37). To me, you never get past those losses, you never stop the grieving. You just accept it because there isn't much else you can do. Not a day goes by that I don't mourn his loss.

Someone once told me that there have been like 10 billion people ever in the history of the world- and every single one of them either has- or will- pass away. There is no avoiding death in our lives.

Still, as long as I remember him, my brother will always be my little brother. I still talk to him, still raise a glass on his birthday (shared with him by my youngest daughter- something I've come to cherish).

And remember- these people, these friends, these relations- they all brought something great into your life. Hang on to those thoughts. They are real and can't be taken away, even by death.
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Old 11-29-11, 02:37 PM   #4
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((( hugs serenity )))

grief is something we all will face throughout our lives, may it be from losing loved ones to death, losing a lover, friends, jobs we is unavoidable.

I have been in grieving for my dad who passed in '09 and was left behind by my girlfriend a couple months ago because of that grief (depression)

adding you guessed it, MORE Grief!

so of course I have had my struggling moments and other times I see a light - as time moves on hopefully that light will become brighter and hopefully the little light you see at times will grow as well.

we just have to remember it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

be grateful for the lives that have touched yours and the lives you have touched and soon enough you will find peace with their passing/departures.
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