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Grief

This is a discussion on Grief within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; This has to be by far my most hardest confession other than depression. I wanted to share with you guys ...

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Old 01-30-10, 08:51 AM   #1
 
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This has to be by far my most hardest confession other than depression. I wanted to share with you guys what lives with me every day. I lost a friend when i was young. Not a close friend but a friend whom i was very attracted to. He had lung cancer. When i think about it i wish i wasnt so young so that i could remember more. I think about him sometimes. Sometimes all the times. It's like when they say when you keep holding on to them they will always be there. I think he had such spirit such life to him. I imagine sometimes what if he were around now, where would he be what would he be doing. I havent visited his grave and i wasnt at his funeral then. it's been 10 years or 11. I think about visiting the grave one day and talk to him and tell him why i havent been around but that will be like accepting that hes gone and i know i will break down. i hate goodbyes. I remember he used to play football btu then the team broke and no one really continued playing. He had a close friend and after school he went abroad to study and a few weeks ago i heard his back. I dont really know him well but i wanted to see him for selfish reasons. I feel he understands me and if i see him i will find my dead friend. So i started askign around where he is ive tryed looking online any way to contact this person. One day i stopped me because i thought i was going mental and they would book me for stalking. I dont know what to do and as i write this my heart breaks for the millionth time. All others have moved on i tried with others who knew my dead friend to bring it up mention his name as i choked inside to see if anyone would say something. They act so normally and i think my God have u forgotten him? have you forgotten he was someone? I'll always have him in my heart but i can't seem to get him off my mind temporarily.
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Old 02-01-10, 11:09 PM   #2
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I believe the dead are never forgotten its just some people want to keep there thoughts too them selves.
As for visiting a grave to talk to someone,yes ive done it but i talk to my lost love ones all the time, i dont need to be looking at there graves. Plus theres always something that makes us remember them, a certain smell,for example.
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