I'm in Mississippi right now where my father and grandfather are buried. I hate going there but I have to to talk to them (if that's crazy, guilty as charged). I'm gonna let granddad know that soon grandma will be with him. She always missed him. Maybe it's just her time to go. They say she has less than six months left. Maybe they'll be happy and look down on me from the afterlife. I just hope I don't dissapoint them I do my best but sometimes I'm such a fuckup.

I think you're wonderful Venom. You made the trip to Mississippi for you Grandma's sake and you're gonna visit your Father and Grandfather to talk with them about your Grandma....Man no fuck up would do that. You have a full loving heart and I'm sorry its feeling like its breaking but that's what happens to people who are loving, human beings Venom - not fuck ups.

((((blessed hugs)))))

It's not crazy, talking to a grave. We cremated my Nanna, and I'm planting a tree in the garden for her, but even before I've done that, the flowers on her coffin live in the garden, even if they are dead, I sit on the grass and talk to her sometimes - cry and let her know how I feel.

I'm sure you won't disappoint them, and letting him know is a good thing, for her sake and maybe even yours in the long run. But you aren't a fuck up - no matter what you may think, and no matter what, you won't disappoint them.

*hugs*

thank you all for you support. unfortunately, I forgot to visit the graves... I had been taking alot of pills at the time. I'm going back soon though.

Hey Venom! How are U? You can do it the next time!
I know your under alot of pressure.

I don't really believe in an afterlife, but that's a good thing to do. Talking to a grave isn't crazy at all.

If going to a grave to talk with them makes you feel closer to them and helps you feel better, you should. If doing something helpful for yourself makes you crazy, then maybe we should all get that way.

Can I be crazy too?