It's not crazy, talking to a grave. We cremated my Nanna, and I'm planting a tree in the garden for her, but even before I've done that, the flowers on her coffin live in the garden, even if they are dead, I sit on the grass and talk to her sometimes - cry and let her know how I feel.
I'm sure you won't disappoint them, and letting him know is a good thing, for her sake and maybe even yours in the long run. But you aren't a fuck up - no matter what you may think, and no matter what, you won't disappoint them.
*hugs*
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