Does anyone have this problem? I'm talking about being afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to let it go. I especially have this problem when I live around a lot of people because for some reason it attracts them, and I really don't like it. I'm not seeing things or hearing things, there have been people on my property by my windows just so they could supposedly hear the music I played or the music I created with guitar. It is a good tool to vent, to release the buildup of emotion or stress. Things begin to get complicated when I have people waiting for me to play it and then suddenly it feels like it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with entertaining them. I really don't want to sound full of myself or arrogant in any way, just how difficult it is for me. I used to play it a lot and now word has spread to this location "oh he's an amazing guitarist." The guitar is personal to me, it's not for fun or to impress. I don't want to entertain people or awe them..it is for me only. I am beginning to understand why people who become musicians live around other musicians, much like Alexi Laiho does now. Here I am in my place, aware of it all. I guess some people will never really understand the true purpose of music. If I had money, I would have my privacy. I thought about moving to the Bay Area in California, to Cleveland, heck even just where it was saturated with musicians. I'm old enough to know that running away from something will do me no good yet at the same time I know who I am, and I'm not like most people around here. I know I won't get any better just playing once in a while...here I am again, and this is f***ing frustrating.