Fear of grieving
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Fear of grieving

This is a discussion on Fear of grieving within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Does anyone have this problem? I'm talking about being afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to let it go. I especially ...

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Old 06-09-11, 01:41 AM   #1
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Default Fear of grieving

Does anyone have this problem? I'm talking about being afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to let it go. I especially have this problem when I live around a lot of people because for some reason it attracts them, and I really don't like it. I'm not seeing things or hearing things, there have been people on my property by my windows just so they could supposedly hear the music I played or the music I created with guitar. It is a good tool to vent, to release the buildup of emotion or stress. Things begin to get complicated when I have people waiting for me to play it and then suddenly it feels like it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with entertaining them. I really don't want to sound full of myself or arrogant in any way, just how difficult it is for me. I used to play it a lot and now word has spread to this location "oh he's an amazing guitarist." The guitar is personal to me, it's not for fun or to impress. I don't want to entertain people or awe them..it is for me only. I am beginning to understand why people who become musicians live around other musicians, much like Alexi Laiho does now. Here I am in my place, aware of it all. I guess some people will never really understand the true purpose of music. If I had money, I would have my privacy. I thought about moving to the Bay Area in California, to Cleveland, heck even just where it was saturated with musicians. I'm old enough to know that running away from something will do me no good yet at the same time I know who I am, and I'm not like most people around here. I know I won't get any better just playing once in a while...here I am again, and this is f***ing frustrating.
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Old 10-10-11, 06:43 AM   #2
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I have had some fear of grieving, but I think I found that the grieving was inevitable, it was more about how I grieved that was the tricky part.

I am not sure from your post if you are writing about the grief or the issue with people not leaving you alone, making it hard to play your guitar. I take it the guitar is the way you express your emotions. I can appreciate that your art feels crowded when they are lining up at your window trying to listen to you. That would feel invasive to me, too.

Tell them they have to pay if they want to stand under your window!!!
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Old 10-26-11, 06:03 AM   #3
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I too have this fear. I live in a dorm (in a triple to be more precise). Everywhere I go I cannot get away from anyone. Even for a small college, it feels so cramped.

I cannot let go in front of people. I cannot let myself be vulnerable. It's just not something that happens for me. I couldn't even cry at my best friend's funeral, even when his great grandmother cried all over me.

I wish I had some sort of advice but I really don't. I just wanted to let you know that I totally know how you feel. Don't let it cause you to become withdrawn though. This has happened to me because I don't want to share my art or anything of that nature with anyone anymore. I generally would like to be left at peace. It becomes tiring, when everyone decides they would like to invade your privacy because they feel they have some right to. It's ridiculous really.
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Old 10-26-11, 08:19 PM   #4
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Watch this video from Brene Brown - I just discovered it and it's great

I am a man who has no fear of sharing my feelings, it may come off as being vulnerable, weak, maladjusted emotionally - but I'd rather be an open book than a cardboard cut-out.

please watch it, it's excellent advise

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability - YouTube
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Old 12-13-11, 07:05 AM   #5
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Junip, that is an awesome find for a video! Thanks for posting.
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