I am so so sorry about your brother passing on
. It is not an easy experience at all. First the shock and disbelief,then anger and then the guilt-it can be such a roller coaster of emotions
I don't know how your family has tried to deal with it so you can draw strength from one another and it doesn't destroy the unit... Did you guys try any family therapy? I know that expressing it is healthy and could help you all heal faster. Trying to ignore it or pretending to be strong prolongs the pain.
How are you feeling? And your poor mum too? Do you have friends or family help at all,even if just to listen?
I lost my elder brother when I was much younger and we were never allowed to talk about it, because my parents probably thought that was the best way for us to deal with it... It didn't help,made it more difficult in my opinion.
Don't let anyone tell you to 'man up' and move on-allow yourself to go through and express your feelings. If you are sad, don't feel weak and if you feel happy about something,don't allow guilt.
You could try writing down how you feel?
I think that the guilt is the biggest thing for your mum
. I hope that you all can find strength to deal with this and grow close again as a family.
I don't know if making a scrapbook together as a family could help break some of the ice?
Keep talking here please... It will get easier
. You are not alone...