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Dying Dad

This is a discussion on Dying Dad within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; well I can understand your resentment towards him, but remember Delta, we must learn to forgive and forget. It wouldn't ...

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Old 03-28-09, 03:30 PM   #21
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well I can understand your resentment towards him, but remember Delta, we must learn to forgive and forget. It wouldn't be a bad idea to go see him one last time, ya know? You don't want those "what if?" thoughts haunting you for the rest of your life, God knows they torture me.
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Old 03-28-09, 03:35 PM   #22
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Sigh...Yeah alot of people are saying that. He actually doesn't want to see me. My brother Brian goes down there everyday and my Father is insistent on no contact with me or my other brother. He is a weak man. He confides in my brother his feelings about me. I suppose its rather like confession. If he burdens Brian with it, instead of me, he can feel like he has owned his part. Idk. I feel sorry for Brian and that is why I am supporting him so much at this time. He's staying at my place for free and I'm doing what I can to reduce stress
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Old 03-28-09, 03:40 PM   #23
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(((HUGS))) handle it the best you can Delta, we'll be here for ya.
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Old 03-28-09, 03:49 PM   #24
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Thanks (you sound like you were raised very well Venom)
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Old 03-28-09, 04:23 PM   #25
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Well most people would say I'm ignant (in the way I conduct myself)... but I'm complex I guess ;)... More on the inside than on the out. Thank you
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Old 03-28-09, 04:23 PM   #26
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Delta you are a very strong woman, doing what you are, letting brother stay with you and all. You've got alot on your plate. My warmest regards to you and yoursxx

(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
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Old 03-28-09, 04:44 PM   #27
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*hugs* to you Delta. Your situation is not easy at all. Just do what you feel in your heart is right. If I were you I would barage in whether my dad liked it or not and tell him I wanted to see your face one last time before you kicked the bucket. But people say I have no tact. I dunno... I will keep you in my prayers.
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Old 03-28-09, 07:22 PM   #28
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Lol. Thanx L4P I might get it mixed up and kick him down instead of the door and then just look at a bucket....I haven't got tact either.

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Old 03-30-09, 02:56 PM   #29
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((((HUGS)))) delta, you're such an angel. you've got so much going on and yet you still find the time to console me. Handle the situation the best way you can. It's hard to let go of anger, but like L4P said you might just have to do that, just to say goodbye, and hide your resentment towards him, after all, he is old and dying now. In any case, I hope you can decide the best course of action and best of wishes to you
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Old 03-30-09, 04:15 PM   #30
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There must be anger I suppose. I just don't recognise it. Perhaps its hurt. He rejected a child - then defended that action through his subsequent actions his entire life.

I am not being revengeful. He doesn't deserve respect. Perhaps he should have my empathy but frankly, thats like me asking my 16 year old who was sexually assaulted to try to understand how I must feel!

Yeah, there is some anger I suppose but the point is, I am only interested in managing that stuff for my own benefit so I can be the best mum for my girls. It isn't about benefitting my Dad.
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