On the 22nd it was the 9th anniversary of my Brothers death.
My Brother died off a brain hemorrhage, he was 30. He went to bed one night and my Father found him dead the following morning.
Its quite awful the things i think about, like did he know he was dying, how awful it would be to die alone. Why do I think of these morbid things instead of thinking of the good times i had with my brother.
Perhaps its because of having similar thoughts when my mother died when I was just twelve. I use to blame myself as i recalled as plain as day saying to her, as kids do at times;"I hope you die mum", and would have said it for some petty little thing such as not been able to go somewhere or have something.
They say things come in THREES , now that ive lost my son too is life going to begin to deal me a better hand, or is this just wishful thinking.
Only time will tell,one thing i have learnt is that time does help a little with grief though nothing anyone says can make you forget or even want to forget. Saying that however I appreciate all that honestly care.
To my Brother, where ever you may be, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
From your little/big sister XXX