It comes to something when, seven years after my Dad died, I am still so overwhelmed with grief that I cannot contain my tears on the train - during rush hour. Just creeps up on me and I'm gone again.

How do other people manage so well? I'm a mess.

I have other emotional issues that I've spent the last few years having counselling for. But I just can't get over Dad being gone. It's killing me.

I can't go through more counselling, I feel wrung out, there is nothing left of me. I can't tell my husband the reality of my life - I hide it well. The downside of hiding it is that I worry if I do something it will come as a massive shock to him.

I just feel like in the end nothing really matters so why bother?

I can't really give you advice on grief, but I would encourage you to talk to your husband. Is there a specific reason why you can't? I was just thinking that maybe having him by your side and understanding you better may help you.

Because he is a good and beautiful person and he's put up with me for 19 years. He truly doesn't understand me. why should he, I'm broken in my head. I can't keep staining his life with my crap. He deserves happiness.