Coping... One Day At A Time
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Coping... One Day At A Time

This is a discussion on Coping... One Day At A Time within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Hi, I'm new here and the main reason I joined is the fact that I'm having trouble in a LOT ...

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Old 12-08-10, 11:52 AM   #1
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Default Coping... One Day At A Time

Hi,

I'm new here and the main reason I joined is the fact that I'm having trouble in a LOT of areas of my life. This part is just the tip of the iceberg.

I lost two people recently that I cared for very much; my Grandmother and my best friend, both within 3 months of each other. I honestly have gotten over the death of my Grandmother. She was very old, in her mid 80's, and she had said she was ready to go for the past 10 years or longer. Her death did not come as a big surprise to the family, as her condition had been steadily declining for several years.

My best friend on the other hand, was totally unexpected. Yesterday would have been his 28th birthday. He passed away due to complications with his diabetes. He was kept on life support after coding once, and the doctors said it had caused severe brain damage and the only options was to let him live like a vegetable, or pull the plug. His mother, myself and his uncle decided the 2nd option was for the best, as it was his wish and he had stated many times he didn't want to live if he couldn't take care of himself.

I still have a very hard time dealing with all this, even though he passed away October 19th. This holiday season will be the first in 14 years I've not had him with me. We spoke on the phone EVERY DAY whenever I was living out of state, and when we did live in the same city, we always made time to hang out every day after work. We were school mates in high school, co-workers, roommates at one point, and according to him, we were "Brothers". I was as close to him as one, and him to me.

I guess I'm just looking for other people who know what it's like to deal with the same thing I'm going through. I've always been very prone to depression, and with everything going on in my life (relationship problems, parenting issues, work-related anxiety, deaths in the family, etc.) I feel as if I need a support system of some type. I can't vent to my other half, as she can be pretty insensitive to my feelings sometimes.

Any advice, suggestions, or whatever else would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 12-09-10, 10:39 PM   #2
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No advice Birdman.

We just survive our loss one day at a time.

I had a friend who lost his son tell me to share this with another friend who lost their daughter.

"Tell them, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Tell them just keep taking one breath after another. And one day they will find that they are walking again. One day they will find that they are living again."

Just popped over here because of my own loss - holidays are SO very hard.

I'm glad you came.

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Old 12-10-10, 10:15 PM   #3
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Sorry for your loss and I understand what it's like as I have lost two friends from high school. One died at 23 the other at 28. Depression is bad enough but the loss of a good friend at a young age makes it absolutley horrific. The deaths of my friends were 9 and 4 years ago respectivley and I still think about them nearly every day. Unfortunately deaths at such a young age affect people forever but it will get easier to deal with...eventually. I've found that talking to a therapist helps me get rid of the pain that ingrains itself inside me.
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Old 12-17-10, 01:07 PM   #4
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Hi all, I am also new here. I have been going through a long battle with my significant other and his two children. It is a long story but we have been battling in court since July to keep the kids here with us and today we had our final court hearing. We lost the kids. They have to return to the abusive, neglecful mother and the hard part is that the son who is 12 was just diagnosed Type I Diabetes in October. She had come in town for court hearings and then wanted to take her kids for the evenings. She miss managed his insulin all the time and never gave it to him, didn't feed him appropriately, and was neglectful to the serious of his illness and what it means for his future.

So birdman, I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Diabetes is very dangerous and if it is not controlled and managed it will lead to an early death.

That is what I am grieving over today. The loss of these two helpless children who have endured a life of agony in an abusive environment. Judge wants to keep the kids with the mother and said he is holding her to her word that she would get therapy for the daughter who has multiple personalities and major mental health issues, and she will do all sorts of other things the court ordered. however, the kids said if they had to go back they would ......... you know. That is what this forum is about. I am so worried for them and I am trying so hard today to keep my mind on something else so that I keep one foot in front of the other and get to the next day.

So I was looking and found this website and I hope I can meet and chat with others so that I can keep myself sane and healthy emotionally. I have battled depression since I was a teenager. I have had many losses in my life. I am a divorced mom to three boys whom my parents are raising because it is too much for me to do by myself. So I feel horrible today and am also looking for a pick me up ! Wish I could just go fabric shopping at Joann Etc. That would be super cool. A shopping spree at a craft store.

I am too depressed to actually pick up the projects I have around here. I can't get focused and am just so sad today.

Maybe going to a movie might help me. I might go see Yogi Bear or Narnia. Watching movies helps to change my mind set and escape the pain sometimes.
Birdman, maybe a good movie could help you today.
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