bottling it up inside
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bottling it up inside

This is a discussion on bottling it up inside within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; yea i know lots of people who've died and sometimes recently, i've thought about how that has affected me... seeing ...

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Old 09-15-10, 03:31 AM   #1
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yea i know lots of people who've died and sometimes recently, i've thought about how that has affected me... seeing as I'm getting older and I gotta prepare myself to develop good habits

social life hasn't really been a big priority of mine really, it becomes this thing that I can never hope of becoming... and I just give up on myself

im one of those people who really does not like the thought of not being alive... just because I have given it too much leniency in my teenage years, the feeliing of not even wanting to live anymore.

i kind of think about myself right now compared to 100 years from now and i dont like what I see... and i've already lived a long time, my youth is fast disappearing... my problem is I never really have fun with myself

I don't know why im posting this in grieving but like, I think a lot about death. Not really like... all the time I guess? Just when I do think about that, I really have these deep fears that develop over time into one big mess that is my entire life.

What I guess im trying to say is
I've seen my life fading away this year, especially after getting my heart broken a few times... and it's not pretty to watch yourself waste away, observe the days come and go as if they never mattered.
Sometimes...
It feels like someone besides MYSELF needs to know that I exist. Otherwise I'm not really living I'm just bottling it all up inside
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Old 09-15-10, 03:49 AM   #2
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Hi lonely guy,

You do exist and you certainly do matter, I bet you matter to tons of people who love you for the special person you are. The being scared of death thing, who isn't? Who really wants to die, to get older...my nana is 92 and I don't envy who because most of her thoughts are now centered on the fact that she will being dying soon and how scared she is.

I don't know how old you are or alternatively how many years young. You said you wasted your life not havin fun and time is passing you by....well just remember everyday is a blessing and a new start...a second chance to have the life you want to be the person you want to be. Wake up tomorrow and have some fun and stop worrying about death it is something that cannot be stopped.

Take comfort that we are all in the same boat, we are all going to die...rich, poor, famous, dumb, stupid, evil and kind. Death is not at all particular or fair. If you find your mind continually obsessing over thoughts of death, or the passing of time where you think it's effecting your overall quality of life than I think you should find a therapist etc to talk too. Their professional advice would be alot more effective than mine. Don't bottle it up anymore, leaving it inside it will just fester. Get it off your chest and share the burden with people more than qualified to help you.

But for now and hopefully a very long time to come you are here, you do matter, I'm sure you are a great guy. So go out and have some fun, do something you think you can't just to prove to yourself there's nothing stopping you. Get busy living or get busy dying....sorry its a line from one of my favourite movies.
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Old 09-16-10, 11:03 PM   #3
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Hi lonely guy,

You do exist and you certainly do matter, I bet you matter to tons of people who love you for the special person you are. The being scared of death thing, who isn't? Who really wants to die, to get older...my nana is 92 and I don't envy who because most of her thoughts are now centered on the fact that she will being dying soon and how scared she is.

I don't know how old you are or alternatively how many years young. You said you wasted your life not havin fun and time is passing you by....well just remember everyday is a blessing and a new start...a second chance to have the life you want to be the person you want to be. Wake up tomorrow and have some fun and stop worrying about death it is something that cannot be stopped.

Take comfort that we are all in the same boat, we are all going to die...rich, poor, famous, dumb, stupid, evil and kind. Death is not at all particular or fair. If you find your mind continually obsessing over thoughts of death, or the passing of time where you think it's effecting your overall quality of life than I think you should find a therapist etc to talk too. Their professional advice would be alot more effective than mine. Don't bottle it up anymore, leaving it inside it will just fester. Get it off your chest and share the burden with people more than qualified to help you.

But for now and hopefully a very long time to come you are here, you do matter, I'm sure you are a great guy. So go out and have some fun, do something you think you can't just to prove to yourself there's nothing stopping you. Get busy living or get busy dying....sorry its a line from one of my favourite movies.
my problem is people don't help... none of them
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Old 09-17-10, 01:12 AM   #4
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Yeah it can certainly feel that way sometimes but in the end it's up to us to help ourselves. It sounds bad and lonely but even if we had tons of people around us, the change we really need is within us.

I'm very depressed at the moment and all of my family have now been told of my depression and I have reached out to numerous counsellors etc but at the end of the day all they can do is listen. All the positive action and strength must come from within us. I am no one to talk I am fighting my depression nearly all day every day since leaving my job and even when working just to go in everyday, ignoring the stress, anxiety and panic attacks. I don't want to sound heartless but at the end of the day we are responsible for our own welfare and well-being, no one else. We have to take responsibility for our physical and mental well being. There are people out there to help but the biggest impact will be from within.

If it's going to be, its up to me.
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Old 09-20-10, 04:10 AM   #5
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Yeah it can certainly feel that way sometimes but in the end it's up to us to help ourselves. It sounds bad and lonely but even if we had tons of people around us, the change we really need is within us.

I'm very depressed at the moment and all of my family have now been told of my depression and I have reached out to numerous counsellors etc but at the end of the day all they can do is listen. All the positive action and strength must come from within us. I am no one to talk I am fighting my depression nearly all day every day since leaving my job and even when working just to go in everyday, ignoring the stress, anxiety and panic attacks. I don't want to sound heartless but at the end of the day we are responsible for our own welfare and well-being, no one else. We have to take responsibility for our physical and mental well being. There are people out there to help but the biggest impact will be from within.

If it's going to be, its up to me.
but don't you find that there's a certain point where you can't do anything else?

I try as damn well hard as I can, sometimes it's not enough but I push harder than any human being on this planet.

at the end of the day, when you've done everything possible to improve yourself, there's just got to be a limit to what you can manage.

seriously though

half of this crap that i'm talking about with you I attribute to my parents. my mom kicked me out of the house over two summers ago, and ever since I've been stuck with my grandfather as my only friend, with my social fears becoming so acute with drug use.

if I didn't have an 83 year old man as a father figure, maybe I'd be more lively of a person. sometimes it really becomes a matter of me separating from my parents' little egg yolk to become a person like everyone else.
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Old 09-20-10, 04:45 PM   #6
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I understand. I live with my mum who's 66 years old and because we have spent so much time together I really think it has done more bad for me than good. I don't have any kind of a social life and everytime I go out it's usually by myself or with my mum. For the past 1 /12 I have become really socially anxious where I couldn't even talk on the phone without having a panic attack which effected my breathing etc. It was quite embarrassing, trying not to let the other person on the phone know that I was losing the plot.

I've gotten over that just by attacking it, being put in a situation where I had no choice but to answer the phones...(this was when I was working). I would still get nervous now and then and make a slight fool of myself but sometimes I would be Miss Charisma and handle it really well. I even got complimented on my lovely telephone manner....that did help to boost me abit.

I have tried to beat my depression by myself and with the recent disasterous turn my life has taken, I am now seeking professional help. So we can by all means try to recieve aid from others, I'm just saying the bulk of the change must still come within. It may take awhile and we will have to have patience with ourselves but it's not impossible.

But hey I am no expert in fact I am in your same boat, but one day I wish to get off this freakin ride and walk on land.
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Old 09-20-10, 07:27 PM   #7
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Most of my self-improvement has really been hard fought and earned. I have a lot to be proud of from what I've done.

What I keep talking about, is social life, like you said. No matter how hard you try to convince someone if they don't want to be your friend, they're not going to be.

So sometimes it's too much, and other people are going to have to step in and do something, because you can't put it all on yourself. I've tried that. And that's where most of my stress came from.
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Old 09-20-10, 11:43 PM   #8
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How cool to hear you recognise and acknowledge some of the hard things you have accomplished....so that's a positive right?

So you need a larger social life...or a social life atleast. I understand it's hard to get one started. Do you have any interests that you can pursue so you might meet some like-minded people in the same environment, like a class etc?

Maybe to for a moment stop worrying about it, sometimes when you try to hard you can reek of desperation and people pick this up and give you a wide berth. But from what I've also notice is that in today's society people are very cautious sometimes about making new friends. Don't stress if you can because it won't help the situation.

Can you join a local sport team, learn karate etc...to meet other people and maybe slowly and naturally make a friend. Remember to get a friend you need to look like you don't need one, that you're happy and relaxed in your own company.

Sorry I probably haven't really helped you but there's something to think about.
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Old 09-21-10, 07:45 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by 3daystodecide View Post
How cool to hear you recognise and acknowledge some of the hard things you have accomplished....so that's a positive right?

So you need a larger social life...or a social life atleast. I understand it's hard to get one started. Do you have any interests that you can pursue so you might meet some like-minded people in the same environment, like a class etc?

Maybe to for a moment stop worrying about it, sometimes when you try to hard you can reek of desperation and people pick this up and give you a wide berth. But from what I've also notice is that in today's society people are very cautious sometimes about making new friends. Don't stress if you can because it won't help the situation.

Can you join a local sport team, learn karate etc...to meet other people and maybe slowly and naturally make a friend. Remember to get a friend you need to look like you don't need one, that you're happy and relaxed in your own company.

Sorry I probably haven't really helped you but there's something to think about.
Well it's not like I'm going to play the smallest violin in the world for them. I actually don't even need people that bad. I've gone without for almost 2 years.
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Old 09-21-10, 10:17 PM   #10
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I think everybody needs someone. But if you don't need people then why is your avatar name lonelyguy? If it's not contact with people you're missing than maybe you should ask yourself what would make you happy?
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