Trying to stay on top of it all. I feel really depressed ATM and so tired. The doc has put me back on the meds as the stress is affecting me and coming out as a bad stomach upset that never really goes away. Living on bread and tins of soup ATM, I can not really face food now, all I really want to do is sleep but that does not happen either.
-----I keep on thinking why him, what he do to deserve this but the truth is he did nothing. I think he was content with life, watching the TV and reading some of the books I brought round as I had read them, going for his walks and laying on the bed sleeping. I keep thinking that he should still be here doing all the things he enjoyed doing. He was a gentle man and had a wicked sense of humour and even at 83 was as sharp as a needle. He was one of the good guys.
-----Worried over some of my snakes too as there is a bug going round some of them and it is costing me a fortune at the vets. Checking them is nightmare in case I find another one has gone down with it. I have another vet appointment tomorrow and I am hoping she gets to the bottom of it and comes up with a cure. Lost one of my snakes to this bug so far and do not want to lose anymore. Then there was one of the ball pythons. She laid a large clutch of eggs and I was over the moon until I took them away from the female and saw that they were all infertile. No babies will ever hatch out of those.
-----I want Dad's funeral over with as I think it will give me and the rest of my family some kind of closer. This is getting to me as well and the whole lot is making me feel bad tempered and irritable. Just feels like everything is getting on top of me now and life is just one pile of crap after another and there is no end to it.