8 and a half years and counting..
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8 and a half years and counting..

This is a discussion on 8 and a half years and counting.. within the Grieving forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I seem to be having one of those lives where, once one bad thing happens.. more bad things happen and ...

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Old 12-31-10, 11:35 PM   #1
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Unhappy 8 and a half years and counting..

I seem to be having one of those lives where, once one bad thing happens.. more bad things happen and you never seem to get a break from reality. I'm a 19 year old girl, approaching my 20th birthday this February. Holidays are a hard time for me, with no real family anymore. My mother passed just before my second birthday, and my father when I was 11. All I have left is my brother who is 4 years older than me, but he spends most of his time with his girlfriend and their family.
Everything in life was ok until my dad passed. It wasn't as hard for me when I was younger not having my mother around, because I was too young to understand how much effect a daughter's mother has on them growing up. My father however, was my best friend. We lived in a very small town of maybe 100 people, and there were no girls my age. I spent a lot of my time with my dad who didn't have a steady job or my brother and his friends. I miss my dad and think about him every day.. but sometimes I wonder how long this grieving process will last. It's hard for me to move on in life, because I'm always thinking about the past and how it could have been different. Is there anyone out there in a close situation as mine.. or someone who could offer me advice?

Jen
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Old 01-01-11, 12:44 AM   #2
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Hi Jen...Welcome to TTL. I've never been in your situation, but for what it's worth my birthday is in February to...the 29th
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Old 01-01-11, 01:20 AM   #3
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Hi Jen, I remember your first thread and can feel the sadness in your post. I am deeply sorry for your loss and can only imagine what you are going through. I wish I had some answers for you, I really do. Do you have friends that are like family that you can spend time with? Maybe that would help you feel less lonely. Have you also had the chance to talk with a counselor or therapist? Are you religious? That can also be another avenue of healing and making new friends.
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Old 01-01-11, 07:45 PM   #4
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I spent time over the holidays with my best friend.. who is moving to California in 2 months (I'm in Canada), so that will be hard. I went through 3 years of therapy after my dad passed, but it didn't seem to help. As for religion, I gave up on it a long time ago.. I thought about it and they always say that God sets a path for you and what happens is meant to be.. but what i can't get around is that he took my mother, my father, other multiple relatives.. and he also made the one thing that I wanted most in life.. to have kids.. impossible for me. Why? what did I do to deserve this? So I gave up on him.

I've thought about going back to therapy now that I'm older, but it is so expensive and being a student with no job doesn't help, unfortunately.
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Old 01-01-11, 08:01 PM   #5
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How ironic....I live in California. I'm sorry your best friend is leaving, that must be hard. I'm not sure how Canada works, but colleges hear in the states have student health services. Perhaps your school has that as well? Maybe you could get help there? As for religion, that's really hard to swallow.....I know it works for some people, but not all.
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Old 01-01-11, 08:05 PM   #6
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Hmm I never thought of that.. I'll have to check that out :)
Thanks, Dax :) ((hugs))
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Old 01-01-11, 08:13 PM   #7
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Your welcome my friend. I do hope you stick around TTL, I know it's not a replacement for real life friends, but this is a warm community to be around. I think you will make friends here, when chat is working I'm normally in there.
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Old 01-05-11, 11:33 PM   #8
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Let us know how you are doing, k? Curious if you will be able to get help from your school.
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Old 01-05-11, 11:51 PM   #9
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I'm doing okay. I have been on break since mid december; I got back monday. I'm going to see if I can get help from them. I'm doing okay though.. Its been a good week
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Old 01-06-11, 12:06 AM   #10
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((((((hugs)))))) Good to know, glad its been a good week. Hope your classes are going well for you :)
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