I have a medical symptom that has started to show up about once every year or two. It began 4 years ago as a seizure reaction to a medication I was taking. It took me 3 years, job loss and a bunch of research to discover that is why I was having them. My job just put me off the clock again in January for what they mistook as the same thing, though it wasn't. I still have to go through a long process that may be another 6 months to prove it wasn't and clear myself so I can go back to work again.
There is nothing that I know of or that a doctor has told me that actually reveals the "why" of my problem. Why do I have them? How can I fix this body so I don't have more? Sure, I can avoid the medicine but what if the real problem causes another seizure from something different? Every day is a trip through anxiety. Every little variation of feeling from my shoulders up creates the question, "is this a precursor to a seizure?" Should I be worried or not? What is a 'precursor' and how do I recognize it? Every time I close my eyes I half pray that in the morning i will open them again.
My goal is to find out what is wrong with me that is the root cause of the brain malfunction and correct it. I can't go on with the fear which has got me by the throat right now.
One common medical view is that at any moment I might drop over, pass from consciousness and have a big seizure. Then hopefully I will at least wake up a few hours later. I could be ok or remember nothing, and I may not even be capable of adult behavior any more. I could even pass away. I am determined to not let that view become reality. There is a lot more to know then "go home and take this pill". That is all I have been told so far and that is not all there is to know. I must learn or I am afraid of what will come of me.