I think this is a good place to put this thread. The experience I had yesterday was pretty intense and I think it was a healing process. Except I feel a little embarrassed by how intense my emotions got.
It was at a mentorship celebration event - a room full of high school students being honoured for their contributions to a mentorship program. My colleagues and boss was there. A Dakota Elder was also there, to preside over the event and share a beautiful teaching about contributing to community.
The keynote speaker - a dynamo of a young woman who teaches at university and is also a Sundancer and community leader - led us in an exercise that brought up intense emotions for me.
She got everyone to pair up and then face each other, seated knees-to-knees. We were all giggling and laid back, not knowing what was next. I paired up with our Elder, a man I highly respect and care about.
Then she asked us to take turns and repeat what she said, word for word. She said sentences like "I value you and truly care about you. I honour and respect you." Hell, I can't even remember what else we were to repeat because after the first sentence, I lost it. I started weeping.
It blew me away, looking into the eyes of a person who I don't really know but respect, and saying these things to him. And to look into his eyes and hear him say these things to me. I couldn't look at him for long. I had to keep looking away. I was laughing and crying.
He choked up a little too. Maybe because he never had anyone he knew as an acquaintance say those types of things to him either. Or maybe because my tears were affecting him.
Our words felt genuine. I could feel the warmth from his heart as he spoke.
I think the tears were because those words felt so wonderful to hear. And it did something - it broke up a cluster of hurt inside me, to be washed away with the tears.
I just hope I didn't freak him out!
But ... that's me. I feel deeply and my heart was already wide open acknowledging those young people and applauding for them. I'm not ashamed of my intense emotional response. But it told me a lot about myself. About how much healing I still have. How much hurt is still buried deep inside.
But a good chunk of it got loosened and released yesterday after that exercise. So it was some good healing.
Thank you for letting me share this here.