does anyone know any funny jokes?
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does anyone know any funny jokes?

This is a discussion on does anyone know any funny jokes? within the Fun forums, part of the Inspiration category; Lol it would be great if someone told a joke...

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Old 04-25-14, 01:58 PM   #1
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Talking does anyone know any funny jokes?

Lol it would be great if someone told a joke
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Old 04-25-14, 08:28 PM   #2
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It's a good clean joke:

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
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Old 04-25-14, 11:33 PM   #3
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Lmao thx
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Old 05-01-14, 11:51 PM   #4
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Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."
"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
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Old 05-05-14, 11:18 AM   #5
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Old 05-05-14, 11:39 AM   #6
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Ok I vaguely remember reading this joke online many years ago so forgive me if I tell it wrong.

Man wakes up in his bed one morning with a splitting headache and his clothes reeking of alcohol. He tries to recall the night before but can't and looks over to ask his wife. She isn't there but on her pillow is a note with his name on it and a bottle of aspirin. The note reads, "Good morning sweetie,
Take some aspirin and when you feel up to it come down stairs for some breakfast. I'm making your favorite. Love you honey. "
The man looks around, his usual neat bedroom looks like it's been ransacked, mirror askew, lamp knocked over, etc. He heads down stairs, noting the family pictures have been knocked down, the coffee table is broken and he can see his car parked half in the yard the other half on the sidewalk. Really worried now and confused the man sees his son and asks, "What happened last night? And where's your mom? "
"Mom ran to the store to pick up stuff to make that dessert you like. You came home last night drunk,"his son replied, "and stumbled around knocking stuff down before tripping and falling on the coffee table."
Confused, the man asks"Then why isn't your mother furious?"
"Oh. Well, mom lead you to your bedroom and made you sit on the bed. When she tried to get you undressed you pushed her away and yelled, "Get off me woman! I'm married!"
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Old 05-17-14, 01:22 PM   #7
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Lol
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Old 07-15-14, 11:34 PM   #8
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Giraffe fart on YouTube. . Then runs away after
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Old 07-28-14, 08:31 PM   #9
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The giraffe that hates Justin Bieber on you tube
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Old 07-28-14, 09:55 PM   #10
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A man went to his dentist because he has a strange feeling in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything - meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything."
"Well," says the dentist, "That's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It has eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."
"Why chrome?" asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
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