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Do you have a one liner or short joke?

This is a discussion on Do you have a one liner or short joke? within the Fun forums, part of the Inspiration category; Good King Wenceleslas went out to the pizza parlour and ordered a pizza. The assistant asked: " Do you want ...

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Old 07-03-11, 07:27 AM   #31
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Good King Wenceleslas went out to the pizza parlour and ordered a pizza. The assistant asked:

" Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?"

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That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she/he sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.
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The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
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Old 07-06-11, 03:45 PM   #32
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The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
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Old 07-07-11, 06:05 PM   #33
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If we put pictures of missing kids on beer cans instead of milk cartons we'd find them alot faster
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I never met you and yet I know you,
at least I know much about you.
I know you need food, shelter
and things to do to keep you sane.
And I know that especially, you need someone . . .

I can't say that I am that someone,
but I am someone . . .
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Old 07-08-11, 04:16 AM   #34
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There are no ugly women, there is just not enough vodka.
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Old 07-08-11, 02:10 PM   #35
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Love may be blind......but marriage is a real eye-opener.
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That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she/he sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.
Elizabeth Wurtzel


The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
Brendan Behan
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Old 07-08-11, 02:18 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dog View Post
Love may be blind......but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Amen to that!
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razy Bird Lady


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I never met you and yet I know you,
at least I know much about you.
I know you need food, shelter
and things to do to keep you sane.
And I know that especially, you need someone . . .

I can't say that I am that someone,
but I am someone . . .
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Old 07-09-11, 04:04 AM   #37
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My uncle's star sign was cancer, so it was a coincidence how he died. He was attacked by a giant crab.
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Old 01-18-15, 08:30 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dog View Post
You conquer ass???

I'm lost there CBL.
Pretty sure they mean "I concur". But that is fkn hilarious
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Old 02-21-15, 10:51 AM   #39
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Did you hear about the atheist who suffered from both insomnia and dyslexia? He would lay in bed awake every night, wondering if there really is a Dog.
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Old 02-21-15, 10:52 AM   #40
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Love is grand ... divorce is ten grand.
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