Not happy with my friends
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Not happy with my friends

This is a discussion on Not happy with my friends within the Friendships forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; My biggest issue is loneliness, I have 1.5 friends. Best way to describe it. My best friend makes me feel ...

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Old 10-18-16, 02:54 AM   #1
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My biggest issue is loneliness, I have 1.5 friends. Best way to describe it. My best friend makes me feel lonely. I feel she just wants to hear herself talk and on many occasions, talks over me because she needs to hear herself talk. Like tonight....she maybe talked to me 18 minutes out of 20 minutes, I went shopping but couldn't tell her ..no time. When I do talk to her, she starts screaming to her kid, or talking to him while she should be listening to me. And goes uh huh, uhhuh when listening....I feel she can't wait for me to stop talking cause she has something to say. Its me,me,me with her. Starting to turn me off


My young male roommate, I thought being a roommate would be good for me. Nice to have someone around. Idk what happened but after he asked me to move in he changed. It's bizarre. I think he ran away to be honest. He took a job opportunity out of town, haven't seen him in 5 weeks so far. He doesn't call or text unless he wants something. Like pay a bill. He doesn't feel like a friend no more, just a roommate. A few times we went out together and he pretended not to be with me. The worst time...I took him to a festival..I paid for a taxi...once we got inside the festival....he told me he wanted to go separate ways. I didn't go to the festival to be alone. So istayed for a couple of hours and came home alone. So did he.....I don't think he knew how to get to the festival...so used me to get there. I think he met his new gf there to be honest. At this point ...I don't want to go anywhere with him again. Currently don't want to deal with him. I know when his gf is here....he will be nice to me but when she is not here he won't talk to me again. One time I walked by his bedroom door he was standing a foot away...I just walked by and said nothing. Didn't even look at him. It's not me , it's him. So I'm lonely again
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Old 10-18-16, 02:57 AM   #2
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Need new roommate and need new friends. Told myself just to save money here and get a better roommate next time
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Old 10-19-16, 02:59 PM   #3
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You don't need close friends. There's a lot drama that comes with that. Just head to the bar, a church, a support group, a fitness group, or a meetup group for social connections. You can also make online friends who are often better than offline friends.
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Old 10-19-16, 03:04 PM   #4
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I just wanted to add that that roommate of yours sounds horrible.
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Old 10-25-16, 01:12 AM   #5
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Since i moved in he was supposed to get cable and internet but last week, the deal ran out. So i have no cable and internet anymore and hes still out of town. He's.suppose to take care of that. So currently waiting for him to come home so we can deal with that. Guess it will have to be under my name
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Old 10-25-16, 01:18 AM   #6
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Idk about my roommate, to be honest, i know he alittle crazy, even his new gf sees it. The one time we talked, im really feeling shut out by him. I don't have his respect. Just disappointed in the situation. I know when his cousins or gf is here, he will be super sweet but when we alone he changes
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Old 10-25-16, 01:20 AM   #7
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Im really thinking of getting a job where i work with people. Just to get out and talk. I should say a second job,.part time.
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Old 10-25-16, 11:45 AM   #8
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You could volunteer too.
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Old 12-07-16, 10:43 PM   #9
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Volunteering might work too
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Old 01-23-17, 09:15 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TooMuch View Post
My biggest issue is loneliness, I have 1.5 friends. Best way to describe it. My best friend makes me feel lonely. I feel she just wants to hear herself talk and on many occasions, talks over me because she needs to hear herself talk. Like tonight....she maybe talked to me 18 minutes out of 20 minutes, I went shopping but couldn't tell her ..no time. When I do talk to her, she starts screaming to her kid, or talking to him while she should be listening to me. And goes uh huh, uhhuh when listening....I feel she can't wait for me to stop talking cause she has something to say. Its me,me,me with her. Starting to turn me off


My young male roommate, I thought being a roommate would be good for me. Nice to have someone around. Idk what happened but after he asked me to move in he changed. It's bizarre. I think he ran away to be honest. He took a job opportunity out of town, haven't seen him in 5 weeks so far. He doesn't call or text unless he wants something. Like pay a bill. He doesn't feel like a friend no more, just a roommate. A few times we went out together and he pretended not to be with me. The worst time...I took him to a festival..I paid for a taxi...once we got inside the festival....he told me he wanted to go separate ways. I didn't go to the festival to be alone. So istayed for a couple of hours and came home alone. So did he.....I don't think he knew how to get to the festival...so used me to get there. I think he met his new gf there to be honest. At this point ...I don't want to go anywhere with him again. Currently don't want to deal with him. I know when his gf is here....he will be nice to me but when she is not here he won't talk to me again. One time I walked by his bedroom door he was standing a foot away...I just walked by and said nothing. Didn't even look at him. It's not me , it's him. So I'm lonely again
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Your so called friend is a user and a narcissist. Look that up on here if you're not sure what that means. With those types, it's always about them. Dump her. Ignore her. It's better to have no friends then "friend" like that. They are emotionally draining and selfish. They're toxic. Trust me on that. I've had a few of those type of friends before.

As for your roomate, he's no better. He is a user too. He is also selfish. Neither of them are your friends. Forget about them and don't listen to them or do them anymore favors. The next time one of them needs you, say that you're busy and ignore their calls and texts. You teach people how to treat you. If you let them use you and take you for granted, then most people will.

You need to set healthy boundaries with people immediately and speak up at the first sign of disrespect as nicely as you can of course. If they care, they'll change their ways with you. If not, they don't care about you or your feelings, so in that case, move on. You can't change people.

Try looking for new friends at meetup.com. It's free to join. Try talking to people at parties and asking them if they'd like to hang out sometime. Join some activity group that you like or do some volunteer work. Try to find local friends online. Put out a friend ad in the platonic section of Craigslist.

Dump those users. You deserve better than that. They'll never change. Stop allowing them to use you.
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