Hi Guys! Just looking for some advice.
My problem is my friend "the player'. The one I've been chasing for about 3 years and then we hooked up and broke up in the same year. After I broke up with him we didn't talk for 6 weeks, he needed help so contacted me through his little cousin. During the 6 weeks I decided that I needed to move away from him and get a clean break because I moved close by to him. After we got back together as friends cause he needed help. IDK. The funny thing is that I care about him a lot and if he wanted to go back out again, I probably would give him a second chance. But he doesn't want to go back out as far as I can see. This still feels like a rejection to me but still were friends.
I think our friendship is for all the wrong reasons. The other night he needed help again, so he called me. So we got together and got the problem taken care of but after that I wanted to go to a restaurant to eat. So since I suggested that we go eat I feel I should pay for the lunch too. So we went to a restaurant from his country I wanted to try the food out and when we got there, I said I wish his little cousin was there, his little cousin is also his best friend. He called his little cousin and I had drive to school to pick up the little cousin and bring him back to the restaurant.
This is the part that bothered me. The little cousin and him spoke in their language the whole time we were together. My friend the player always does this. It bothers me. Most of the people in his country will say sorry we are speaking our language but it's always my "player' who initiates the switch in language.
You know I did enjoy my lunch and getting out. I loved that his little cousin came to lunch also. But they did speak in their language the whole time and I don't blame the little cousin at all. After paying $70 for lunch for the 3 of us. I just wondered if this is a person I want to be friends with. It bothered me a lot. It was rude. Only one time did they stop speaking their language and that was to ask me if I was enjoying the meal. Which I was. It was a nice day out but I feel disrespected by my friend.
I feel shut out at times. I think we are friends as long as he needs me or I have a lot of limits on our friendship or he has a wall up. I just feel it's fake as fuck and there are times I want to call him out on it. I just wish he was different and maybe not my 'go to person' when I need help.
I think at times we do 'need' each other for help. This June I will be having day surgery again and he will have to pick me up from the hospital. Like he did last time. If I don't have him to do that for me, I have no one else. Maybe his little cousin. I've already asked the little cousin for back up.
I've been really questioning this friendship. But I think my loneliness keeps me there but I do feel, neglected and disrespected at times. I think he's abit abusive at times more mental, He just never forgiven me for that guy 3 years ago where he thought I was trying to cheat on him. IDK.
I think at times I need him too because no one else is around. I suppose at the end of it all I just wish he was different than he was.
IDK, something don't feel right.