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human collectors. friends?

This is a discussion on human collectors. friends? within the Friendships forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; it seems people these days just want to add others to their friend list as a statistic to up their ...

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Old 02-22-16, 11:48 AM   #1
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it seems people these days just want to add others to their friend list as a statistic to up their popularity.

they dont seem interested in instant communication and just want to follow information.

how do you confront this condition? is it positive to let a person know you are interested in having a conversation with them? are these people not worth it?

i have very few people i talk to on skype and thats the closest i get to conversation. otherwise i just participate in chatrooms when i feel desperate.

i tried reaching out in a depression group for friends but the people that added me arent interested in conversation either. ill never understand! :(
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Old 02-22-16, 12:44 PM   #2
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Maybe I can offer you a different perspective, because I'm the type of person who has a bunch of friends on skype who I talk a lot with, and a few I hardly ever talk with.

To me, it's not about popularity; it's just about who I like talking to, and who I care about but don't have the best conversations with. I choose to talk more rarely to the latter. These are people who I don't share the same hobbies with, or I just don't find them that interesting, even though I still like them as people. If they want to strike up a conversation with me, I'm always open for that though.

I don't see anything wrong with letting someone know you're interested in having a conversation with them, sometimes people just get too absorbed in their hobbies and ignore everything else. Others might just be very introverted, and unable to initiate a conversation themselves. Also, if you're bad at expressing your interesting side, you might find yourself being the one to always have to initiate a conversation- at least till someone gets to know you.

Also, sometimes people add others as a nice gesture, so that they have a way to contact them if they ever wanted to talk again, even if they don't necessarily hit it off really well.

Basically, not everyone is just trying to stroke their internet popularity ego. It's up to your judgement to determine who's worth talking to. I think, as general rule of thumb, if someone never asks questions about you and only ever talks about themselves, you shouldn't bother with them.
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Old 03-20-16, 02:44 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam87 View Post
it seems people these days just want to add others to their friend list as a statistic to up their popularity.

they dont seem interested in instant communication and just want to follow information.

how do you confront this condition? is it positive to let a person know you are interested in having a conversation with them? are these people not worth it?

i have very few people i talk to on skype and thats the closest i get to conversation. otherwise i just participate in chatrooms when i feel desperate.

i tried reaching out in a depression group for friends but the people that added me arent interested in conversation either. ill never understand! :(
HI, Adam87. I can relate. On FB for example, it seems it's a competition to see who gets the most followers or "friends".

I don't know how to confront this condition. I know if I felt a good connection with someone, and it also felt mutual, I'd engage them in a conversation.

In fact, I just posted today about how I'm lonely for like-thinkers to have deep philosophical conversations with. I get easily bored with shallow topics like diets, appearance, celebrity gossip, that kind of crap. I want to talk about social justice and equality and human rights and community mobilization - stuff that average everyday people are doing to make a difference in the world. But I can't seem to keep friends who think like this. But that's a whole other story and I don't want to hijack your thread!

I've never used the chat room here, but I'd be open to figuring out how and having a conversation with you if you're interested. I think it's helpful to talk with people who can relate to a significant aspect of life like depression. It affects so much of our lives, and we can really benefit from helping each other lift our moods and validating each others' experiences.

Thanks for sharing this.
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